Critical MeMe

Time spent watching films, even crappy ones, is time well-spent.

Post dates are when I watched, parenthetical dates are the year of US release (aka Oscar eligibility).

5/10/2014

Here’s the entirety of the story -- and I don’t even think it’s “in a nutshell,” there really is just this little:

Bella and Edward get married.
He gets her all bruisey during honeymoon sexy time which makes him refuse to fornicate further, but his magic sperm got her pregnant in one shot
The baby’s killing Bella from the inside until Bella chugs blood and starts perking up a bit
Bella gives birth and dies
...Psych! She wakes up a vampire.

Oh, and were-Jacob falls in love with the newborn. It’s absolutely delightfully terrible.

D-