The Babysitter (2017)

Cole is the only kid in junior high who still has a babysitter, but he's OK with that because she's amazing. Not only is she beautiful, she seems to enjoy his company and is really fun to hang out with. When a friend makes a suggestion that she is probably having orgies after he goes to bed, he decides to stay up late to see what she does with her evening... and it's definitely nothing he could've guessed. 

It's a surprisingly good time. The violence was more funny than frightening and the short runtime was the right call. It's entertaining start to finish.

B

Blood Simple (1985)

A bartender sleeps with his boss's wife and, because they apparently don't know how to work curtains, the private detective following them is able to deliver photos to the husband. There's a murder for hire, a cover-up, some double-crossing, and an amazing final scene that'll make you hold your breath. 

This is Joel Coen's first full-length directorial effort and Frances McDormand's first starring role and they really set the bar high for themselves with this tense noir. Its only real failure is in the casting of the extremely bland leading man.

A-

School Spirits (2017)

A girl and her single father relocate to Missouri. She soon discovers that there are ghosts in town as well as a couple of ghost enthusiast classmates. Most of the ghosts are harmless, but a few are scary. One is actually terrifying and wishes to absorb the lifeforce of the kids. Good thing she's a genius who can rig up a EMF reader to be an EMF translator/recorder so she and her ghost hunting classmates can understand them.

Not only is this incredibly dumb, the lead often delivers her lines under her breath -- like even she realizes how awful the dialogue is.

D

The Devil on Trial (2023)

The Glatzel family went through some crap in the 1980s. David, one of the kids, claimed to have been possessed and proceeded to act out enough so that the Warrens (Amityville, The Conjuring) showed up and pushed for an exorcism. According to this documentary, during the exorcism, Arne (a family friend) yelled at the demon to take him on instead of David. When Arne killed a man several months later, he claimed it was due to that invitation that the devil was actually able to use Arne's body to stab the guy. The defense attempted to use that in court.

I did believe in the sincerity of the talking heads in this doc. I believed grown-up David thought he was possessed as a kid and I believed the oldest brother was sure it was a bunch of hooey. I also know that when I'm extremely frightened or enraged that it can feel like I'm not in control... but that doesn't make me guiltless when I behave badly.

From the title, I was hoping for the focus to be on the case rather than the backstory. I should've known better.

D+

Cat People (1942)

Irena, an immigrant from Serbia, meets Oliver and they fall in love. She grew up on tales of her countrywomen who would transform into violent cats and has a real fear that she, herself, might do the same and that she may harm Oliver if she ever loses control. Basically this translates into "no sex."

It's a super weird plot that somehow manages to cast a truly spooky spell.

B-

Baby Ruby (2023)

Jo is a successful lifestyle blogger who details every aspect of her life, including her pregnancy. But, once Ruby is born, Jo becomes less open and more fearful. She's not getting sleep because Ruby's very fussy, but Jo also doesn't want to share the work.

SPOILER: this plot is basically "postpartum is a horror movie." Though the point is fair, it's more than a little bit annoying to have to wonder along with our unreliable narrator exactly who is evil here... her husband? her mother-in-law? the jogging mommies from town? the baby herself? only to find out she's depressed and sleep-deprived so isn't thinking clearly. Really well-acted though.

C+

Soft & Quiet (2022)

A teacher has organized an inaugural meeting of a women's group. Though the ten or so attendees are a diverse bunch in situation -- an ex-con, a business owner, a young retail worker, a mother, etc. -- they are not racially diverse, which is pretty much the point of the meeting. They're there to make plans on how to advocate for the Aryan race with "soft and quiet" rather than in-your-face methods. When the meeting breaks up and a handful of them encounter a couple of non-white women against whom the teacher holds a grudge, the night starts to get out of control.

Though I didn't buy all of the events, I do think mob mentality & the phenomenon of following a loud voice who shares your core beliefs (even when you don't like the loud mouth) are real things. Without thinking things through, going along with the group can feel both right and like the challenge you've been waiting for -- which is why this story being told in real-time is, I think, the only reason it works at all.

C

No Hard Feelings (2023)

Maddie's car gets repo'd, which puts her in an especially bad place since she's an Uber driver. Despite being in her early 30s, she takes a weird gig which involves her "dating" an 19-year-old at his parents' behest in hopes that it will make him open up before he leaves for college. It's basically an '80s-style set-up for a raunch-com -- but don't hold that against it because it's truly funny.

Most of the success can be attributed to Jennifer Lawrence's performance. She's ridiculous and awkward and also truly likable. Gary and I laughed hard at this, which is getting more and more rare for us.

B

Candyman (2021)

Anthony, an artist looking for inspiration, hears the legend of the Candy Man and goes digging for information. After getting stung by a bee and listening to a local talk about CM, he winds up creating an art piece called "Say My Name" that looks like a mirrored medicine cabinet. He's helpfully distributed fliers explaining you have to say Candyman 5 times to a mirror to summon the killer. Because people are dumb and looking for excitement, a bunch of them die. Meanwhile, Anthony's bee sting is turning his hand and arm into a decaying mess but he's getting famous.

Though there's an interesting story spun about how Candyman is not just one person but many, and that they are born from black trauma, it's just a sidenote to a bunch of crazy nonsense. The culmination of the film has Anthony morphing into the latest iteration of Candyman and it's all kinds of stupid. There's not a moment of scary in this whole thing. The only reason it's not an "F" is because of the very cool paper puppets utilized in some of the storytelling.

D

Significant Other (2022)

Harry is excited to take his girlfriend Ruth backpacking, an activity with which she hasn't much experience. She's especially on edge as she suffers from anxiety and panic attacks. Regardless, things are going pretty smoothly for a couple of days -- until Harry makes the mistake of proposing. From there, things get a bit tense and then go completely off the rails.

I really liked the idea here and how we were off-balance about what, exactly, was going on for a bit. I was really impressed with the newness of the plot. Ultimately, however, they didn't stick the landing and that's unfortunate because the plot truly did surprise.

C+

Day Shift (2022)

Bud (Jamie Foxx) has to make some money fast to convince his ex-wife that he can pay for his daughter to stay in California. The only way to make the big bucks in his profession -- vampire hunting -- is to be part of the vampire hunters union. Since Bud's scorched some bridges there, the only way he can get back in is to have a union rep shadow him and that's where Seth (Dave Franco) from the accounting department comes in.

It's a truly fun film with terrific fight scenes. Snoop Dogg even shows up as a vampire hunter that all the ladies want and all the men want to be. I'm really hoping that we see the Bud and Seth duo in a sequel pretty soon!

B+

The Wall (2013)

A woman arrives at a cabin for a getaway. After the first night, however, she discovers that there's an invisible wall preventing her from getting to town or from approaching a neighbor cabin. Though her area seems to span several square miles, she is alone except for a dog. She slowly acquires a cow (which produces a calf) and a cat (which produces a kitten) and works the land in order to stay alive. The wall almost becomes beside the point.

This could easily be a film about grief or feeling like an outsider. The loneliness and buckling down to just get through the difficult days could apply to many of us at many different passages in life. I was never bored, but I'm not sure I got the point.

B

Only Lovers Left Alive (2014)

Adam and Eve are a married couple who've been living apart for several years. But, since they're vampires, I imagine that a decade is a bit like a weekend away. When Eve picks up on Adam's depression, she gets on a plane to join him in Detroit where they hang out, deal with an annoying visit from a family member, and generally enjoy each other's company.

This movie is such a mood. And, really, that's just about all it is. Don't mistake that proclamation as a complaint, though.

A-

Cursed (2005)

Siblings Ellie and Jimmy both receive injuries from a large animal. Soon it becomes clear that the animal was a werewolf and they're turning into werewolves too. Jimmy's a nerdy high schooler, so he's having fun with super strength and new sex appeal. Ellie isn't enjoying increased leers at work -- even though her somewhat disinterested boyfriend is super into her all of the sudden.

There were attempts at humor, but they all pretty much fell flat. Judy Greer does what she can to amp it up in the final act and Milo Ventimiglia is surprisingly charming as a douche bro who opens up to Jimmy but, as a whole, this is a stinker.

C-

As Above, So Below (2014)

Fearless Scarlett is following in her father's footsteps, searching for the Philosopher's Stone. She's venturing into the catacombs of Paris to chase her latest lead and enlists a camera operator, her old friend George, and a catacombs expert (who comes with a couple of friends) to join her.

The darkness and claustrophobia work well with the tension of the story. I don't know Dante's work, but I'm familiar with the concept of the circles of hell and understand that's what's being evoked here. It pretty much works: there's a lot of smart stuff mixed into the jump scares. But, ultimately, it kind of devolved into a messy haunted house storyline.

I really liked these characters and would probably watch a sequel if they made one.

B-

Knock at the Cabin (2023)

A couple and their daughter are vacationing when four strangers arrive and urgently try to convince them that the world is ending. The good news is that the family can stop this from coming to pass if they simply reduce their family unit to two through a sacrificial killing. Jonathan Groff is phenomenal. Dave Bautista is absolutely wonderful. And the rest of the cast -- with the huge exception of the child -- is also very very good.

The story? Well, it's a great idea which forces one to play "what would I do?" It's nutso but, because it's steeped in the kind of bombastic religious verbiage that is very familiar for many of us who grew up in churches, it's also somewhat believable. That said, Shyamalan's thing has kind of become "take a great idea and push it a couple of feet past the line to eyeroll-town" and that's what he does here.

C+

Luther: The Fallen Sun (2023)

There's a new baddie in town and he knows that doing crime is hard when John Luther's around. Since he's one of those super-baddies with ridiculous power, he gets Luther thrown in prison -- you know, to do crime more easily. But Luther also has influence AND he made a promise, so he orchestrates a breakout to solve the crime.

I loved the Luther series for its nuance and gritty realism. This felt more like a Mission Impossible movie with a Marvel-type supervillain. What a disappointment.

C-

Watcher (2022)

Young couple move to Bucharest for his job. He's half-Romanian so knows the language and is at least familiar with the culture, but she's a fish out of water. When she begins to believe that a neighbor is watching her window and stalking her, the husband chalks it up to loneliness and heightened fear due to a string of murders in the area.

I found this to be pretty effective. I felt her isolation and growing terror while being extremely annoyed with her husband. But I was never really scared -- just frustrated.

C+

The Hustler (1961)

Eddie Felson is a successful, if small-time, pool hustler who sets his sights on Minnesota Fats, known to be the best there is. After he gets a crash course in humility, he's determined to get enough scratch together to try it again. There's so much desperation, cruelty and hopelessness woven through the story, but it's balanced with moments of hope.

Everything here -- the acting, the script, the direction, the gorgeous shots -- comes together to create a work of art. This is my second time seeing it (the first was at least 25 years ago) and it's still as powerful as I remember. We lost Piper Laurie this week, which is why we were rewatching, and she really earned her nomination here. Just a perfect performance in a truly perceptive film.

A

Fatale (2020)

A businessman is understandably nervous when he's the victim of a home invasion and the detective is a woman with whom he had a one-night stand. Everything here has been done so much better in other films. It's just not worth the time.

C-

Malignant (2021)

During a home invasion, Madison's husband is killed and she suffers a head injury and a miscarriage. Soon after, she begins having visions of murders being committed and it's discovered that she has a connection to the victims.

Interesting concept with a truly frightening monster, but it just seems to go on way too long. Once we understand what's happening, it's time to wrap it up.

C

The Conference (2023)

A small group of city employees travel to attend a conference, the main purpose of which is to celebrate the groundbreaking for a mall they're hoping will boost the economy in the area. Only the management is excited about both the mall and the conference, the rest are obviously just going through the motions.

And then someone starts picking off the conference staff and the participants one by one. And then it ends. There are some inventive deaths, but nothing in the story makes this stand out.

D+

Totally Killer (2023)

Jamie winds up back in 1987 trying to solve murders that haven't yet occurred in order to keep her own mother from falling victim to the same killer in 2023. Since I went to high school in the '80s, this was particularly hilarious to me -- especially each instance in which caveman (and cavewoman!!) thinking is exposed. Every time Jamie said something like "that's homophobic" or "unwanted touch" I just guffawed. How wonderful that things have changed so much.

It's transparently "Back to the Future but make it horror" and damned if it doesn't work beautifully.

B+

El Conde (2023)

Augusto Pinochet (former Chilean president) -- here an elderly vampire -- is ready to die, so his children gather to cash out while his wife tries to convince him to bite her so they can live forever together. Nothing sways him until a young nun, sent by the church in an attempt to both save him and find his money, gets his motor running again.

It sure sounded interesting, but I was bored to tears by this slow-moving and tedious story. There is a scene of particular beauty that almost had the power to redeem, but it's too late in the proceedings to really matter. I can't find a full clip of the scene, but a snippet of it can be viewed below.

C-

Sanctuary (2023)

I thought this was going to be a scary movie, so the first half hour or so was spent waiting for the thriller stuff to kick in. The film got much better once I stopped bracing myself for a jump and simply let myself enjoy the proceedings. It did take a while to understand what I was seeing and what I could trust.

In the end, I really liked the two main characters. Once we're past the unusual nature of their relationship, I both felt for and was rooting for them. I'd go so far as to say that the woman was inspiring -- not only to the man, but to me personally. Basically, why would anyone walk away without at least attempting to get what they want? As they say, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, so choosing not to try is a loser's mentality.

B

The Pope's Exorcist (2023)

Russell Crowe plays Father Gabriel Amorth, a real-life priest who claimed to have done thousands of exorcisms. I'm not sure why -- out of the multitudes of source cases -- we're focused on such a tame one. The possessed kid is boring as hell. He just sits in bed, clutching his bedspread while he lets a comic working blue use him like a ventriloquist's dummy.

The only reason I'm not giving this an "F" is because I'm kind of here for Crowe's quippy, casual, fuck it performance.

D+

Gone in the Night (2022)

A somewhat mismatched couple -- adventurous young guy, more settled middle-aged woman -- find a young man and woman already in their cabin-in-the-woods rental. Because they're far from everything, the four collectively decide to go with it for the evening. In the morning, however, half of each couple is missing, having apparently run off together. The left-behind woman eventually reaches out to the owner of the cabin and he winds up working with her to track down her boyfriend.

I really enjoyed the mystery and the flashback reveals. Nothing about this story felt as unbelievable as it probably should have, and I believe that's down to Winona Ryder's perfect work here. She does a marvelous job of being our avatar: I understood what she was thinking and doing, especially in the last act. Really great stuff.

B+

The Stepfather (1987)

You've heard of both serial killers and serial monogamists... well how about serial monogamists who serially kill their partners?! It's such a simple concept: guy yearns for a perfect family but wants to fast forward by wooing a family with a missing "dad" piece. Then, when things get difficult, he moves on in dramatic fashion.

The acting of the daughter -- whom, I was happy to note due to a nude scene, was actually in her 20s -- was a definite problem and the story has very little flesh on it. But the biggest issue was that it's so darn predictable.

D+

The Body (2018)

First: this isn't technically a movie, but an episode in the horror anthology Into the Dark -- but it was presented as a standalone movie on Hulu, so that's why it's here.

The film starts with a body, the hitman responsible, and a 4-hour time limit to get the body to a specific destination. Bad news: his tire has been punctured as a Halloween prank. Good news: since it's Halloween, dragging a body-shaped bundle around raises no eyebrows at all. The fun really gets going when he's offered a ride if goes to a party with a group who wants to show their friends the guy with the awesome hitman costume.

I had a lot of fun with this one. I enjoyed the absurdity of the situation and the dynamic between the group of friends. Felt truly original.

B+

Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)

A group of friends are having a "hurricane party": hunkering down with drugs and drinks to get through the anticipated storm. Sophie decides to show up unannounced with her new girlfriend, and most of the attendees are not happy to see her.

Despite the fact that it's populated with the type of people I cannot stand (self-absorbed and overly privileged) enjoying the type of get-together I'd do anything to avoid, this really worked! I'm a fan of the party game "Mafia" (or Werewolf) and this basically takes that concept and amps it up. Even as the evening pushes the terror further and further, the "me me me" personalities can't help but continue to shine through.

B

Let's Scare Jessica to Death (1971)

Jessica and her husband are relocating from the city to enjoy the quiet of the country, a move seemingly driven by her recent stay in a hospital for her mental health. But their new town is not at all welcoming and their home has a squatter. Since the squatter seems harmless, they decide to invite her to stay the night. This is what's known as a bad call.

We're often privy to Jessica's thoughts, things like "don't tell them, they won't believe you," which are obviously remnants of her recent mental issues. That device is really interesting as we're given insight into why she's not making the common-sense moves, which is usually lacking in other frustrating horror leads. But one good idea cannot save this movie. It's entirely obvious what is going on almost from the first 15 minutes and the rest of the time is just plodding toward the final reveal of what we knew all along.

D+

X (2022)

In 1979, a small group decides they're going to get rich by making a "good dirty picture." In order to achieve their goal, they've hired a student filmmaker who brings along his prudish girlfriend to help with the audio equipment. The remote farm property they've rented is perfect -- as long as they don't run afoul of the the elderly property owners.

I thought this was a lot of fun in an '80s screamfest kind of way. Its vibe was very "Friday the 13th": it wasn't all that terrifying, just a bunch of expected deaths in fairly expected ways. But this fell flat mainly for the absolutely terrible old age makeup on the property owners. I kept expecting for them to get younger in order for it to make sense... but they never did. I think this may be connected with the movie "Pearl," which may explain the casting/makeup choices there, but I can't be bothered to check it out.

C-

The Apology (2022)

Darlene's teen daughter went missing a couple of decades back. Darlene's now sober, has become a well-known crusader for missing children, and is preparing to host her first Christmas since that time. As a winter storm rolls in, her ex brother-in-law shows up at her door and wants to have a chat.

This is not a great movie, but it's quick enough to avoid feeling like a waste of time. The biggest issue for me was Linus Roache's American accent; just let him be British, you know?

C+

No One Will Save You (2023)

Due to a tragedy in her past, Brynn has become a near recluse. Though her home is a charming sanctuary, it's also very lonely and it's clear that she longs for relationships. Then, when aliens invade, she attempts to reach out to her community but finds that she's definitely on her own.

While I liked this and was impressed with the choice to go nearly dialogue-free -- I mean, I think the word count is in the single digits -- I also recognize that it's unlikely it would've worked without Kaitlyn Dever. I think it could've gotten very monotonous with a less talented actor.

B