The Drowning Pool (1975)

This is the follow-up to Harper (a movie I really liked), with Paul Newman reprising the titular P.I. Though there are flashes of wit early on, the movie settles into a series of scenes featuring Harper chasing down (or being dragged to) yet another lowlife with another bit of information that may or may not be useful.

Meandering, confusing, and ugly. Also, Melanie Griffith as a nymphet ups the "yuck" factor.

C-

A House of Dynamite (2025)

Radar picks up a missile aimed at the United States -- is it a deliberate attack? A launch error? A test? A data glitch? And, if it's real, who's behind it and how should the U.S. respond? We take it in turns to follow the action from different perspectives including the the base that would launch an interception, the White House Situation Room, and the President himself.

The lack of professionalism in almost every area was what struck me most. People strolling rather than sprinting when they know time is of the essence; the time wasted on personal matters when training should've kicked in to make them focus on the actions that might actually help, etc. I imagine I would've been yelling at the screen if I had been engaged at all.

C-

Drop Zone (1994)

A pair of US Marshals (who happen to be brothers for no reason at all) are transporting an important witness/criminal hacker by plane to a more secure location. While in flight, a hole is blown in the side of the plane and the witness is presumed to be among the casualties, as is one of the Marshals. But the surviving Marshal Pete believes that the witness is still alive and has been snatched by the parachuting attackers.

It never gets any more sane which, honestly, is probably the right call here. If you're trying to make a serious movie about a ring of parachuting criminals, you just might be delusional.

C-

R.I.P.D. (2013)

After growing a conscience about the gold they took, cop Nick gets shot by his partner and gets a new job in the afterlife: tracking "deados" masquerading as live people. His new partner died in the Old West, so there's an opportunity for funny friction. And, hehehe, Nick now looks like an elderly Chinese man while his partner appears as a sexy blonde going to the club. 

Though the CGI sucks, it's the lack of soul that really ruins this. Although I generally advocate for shorter rather than longer run times, I think this could've benefited from a couple more pre-death scenes of Nick and his wife -- maybe add a dog who can sense who the elderly Asian actually is? This just needed something to make me care at all.

C-

Thoughts & Prayers (2025)

This documentary takes a look at the industry that has sprung up in response to mass shootings in America's schools. Not only are there now "active shooter drills" in classrooms, the students can protect themselves with bullet-proof backpacks and tables that can be utilized as automatic weapon shields!

It's a sobering topic that this documentary doesn't seem to know how to handle. We just get a parade of products, befuddled educators, and anxious students. Maybe a counterpoint from the perspective of educators and/or students in countries that don't have this problem (i.e. all the other ones) could've driven home the point that this industry doesn't have to exist? Instead, it just keeps going and going and going without ever being brave enough to outright say what it should.

C-

Argylle (2024)

I'd seen the bad reviews, so it was quite a nice surprise that I was having such a great time with this! It had the same vibe as Romancing the Stone or The Lost City: sheltered lady writer is thrust into a dangerous situation in which they're required to basically live the things they've written. Bryce Dallas Howard was perfect as the terrified yet still quick-thinking author here.

But then we find out what's really going on and the bad reviews made perfect sense. I still think it might've come off with my thumb pointing more up than down if it hadn't also gotten incredibly silly. Figure skating on oil-covered concrete with improvised knife boots was a scene that should've been scrapped once the screenwriter sobered up.

C-

The Sapphires (2013)

Gail, Cynthia, Kay and Julie sing together as young girls in a tight-knit aboriginal community. Though light-skinned Kay is “stolen” to be raised as white, the other three continue to sing together and eventually compete in a local talent contest. They’re the only black act in a very white venue so they, of course, cannot win the competition, but they kind of win anyway since the messy, soul-loving (and, for some reason, Irish) emcee sees their potential. 

There are some BIG subjects here: ever-present racism, the continuing legacy of Australia's "Stolen Generation," and the horrors of war.  But, damn - they're stuck inside an inept script with amateur actors. My interest in the real story is strong, but I know this isn't it, mainly because I was compelled to do some reading after viewing. My main complaints are 1) the invention of Chris O'Dowd's character: why is a white savior necessary and why, exactly, must he be such a mess? 2) the romantic subplots, especially the one between Gail and David, which felt both gross and out-of-nowhere. Also, why did they write him as already married? Is this supposed to be feel-good or feel-sick?

Anyway. Despite my strong ick reaction to this movie, I think that -- in someone else's hands -- this could've been a fantastic family film if the romance had been excised. It felt cheap and distracted from the actual big topics.

C-

F1: The Movie (2025)

Brad Pitt plays an aging driver known for his out-of-the-box risky style who's brought in as a last-ditch attempt to turn around a failing F1 team. It's extremely predictable and would've been a complete waste of time if it weren't for a handful of driver's-view race segments.

C-

Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale (2025)

The gang's mostly here, but only to briefly rehash old plotlines, wave Mrs. Patmore and Mr. Carson into retirement, install Mary as the head of Downton while shuffling the elder Granthams off into an apartment. It's basically a tying up of all storylines. 

I wouldn't call it satisfying, but at least it's finally over.

C-

Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning (2025)

Without a doubt, the weakest of the franchise. Yes, there are some thrilling sequences, but the actual plot is a big muddle and there's so much exposition, way too much of which is written in that annoying "single speech but several people are taking turns saying the sentences that comprise it" thing. No one talks like that, especially not without stumbling over each other at some point.

It just felt like a big "this is your life, Tom Cruise Ethan Hunt." Such a disappointment.

C-

Wicked: For Good (2025)

Maybe I should've rewatched the first installment before going into this one, but -- honestly -- should that be on the audience? I don't like this assumption that I should either have a good enough memory to have every plot detail locked in my brain OR be so obsessed to have rewatched the first multiple times. I mean, what would be so awful about a 5-minute refresher at the top of a sequel? But, no, we plunge right in and I felt seriously lost until I decided to stop trying to understand. Even with my lowered expectations, I still couldn't muster any enthusiasm.

The action felt too close and too fast. I was overwhelmed just trying to take in what I was seeing. There's also no standout song -- absolutely nothing I, as someone who has only heard "Defying Gravity" and "Popular" before these movies, would care to hear again. I did enjoy Dorothy showing up as a background player, performing the steps of her well-known storyline to push the "real" narrative forward, but that's where my appreciation for the script ends. Though Grande, Erivo and Bailey all play their parts well, the whole affair wound up feeling overfilled and muddy.

C-

Bananas (1971)

We'd seen this early Woody Allen probably 30 years ago and I remembered it as absolutely hilarious. I guess that's proof that memory can't always be trusted! 

Though some of his one-liners and sight gags about sex (especially the one about child molestation, which made me gasp) feel weighted down by what we now know, that's not the only thing that tanks this experience. There is a story, but it plays out as a series of far-fetched bawdy little skits -- most of which don't really work -- that make it feel more like an extended Benny Hill episode than a movie. But, credit where it's due, there are a few bits that are truly funny and I'm forgiving my memory for focusing on those.

C-

Tragedy Girls (2017)

Best friends with a website dedicated to violent crimes are desperate to have their site hit it big. When a serial killer finally takes their "teens making out in a car" bait, they take him hostage and take over. They kill exes, rivals, and basically anyone who pulls focus from their site. They don't seem to be emotionally tied to anyone other than each other and are unaffected by the horrors they're wreaking. 

I don't know what this is saying. We never feel connected to these sociopaths and it isn't frightening, but neither does it come off as a successful satire. I give it props for the interesting idea, but it ultimately goes nowhere and has zero effect.

C-

Thunderbolts* (2025)

A handful of second-stringers want out of the constant, soul-destroying work they're doing for Valentina de Fontaine (Louis-Dreyfus) and she agrees to let them, if each does one last job. They soon find out they've been tricked and have to work together to survive.

There are some laughs, some decent effects, and a group I'd be interested in seeing more of, but it felt weirdly "small" for a superhero movie. It plays more like an extended pilot for a television show than a movie. Not sure I'll show up for a sequel.

C+

The Incident (1967)

A couple of thugs are looking for trouble in late night New York when they hop on a subway train with more than a dozen other passengers, one of whom is a bum sleeping it off. They start by messing around with the bum but turn their attentions on the other riders, terrorizing each in turn. It's a nasty little movie that took me forever to finish because of how distasteful it all was. Not only were the hoodlums behaving hideously, but the "keep your head down" mentality of the riders was just as repugnant. As long as they weren't the ones in the spotlight, most didn't want to help or engage.

The one scene that I thought actually worked was when it was the black man's turn to be put on the spot. He'd actually decided, despite his wife's objections, to remain on the train past their stop because he wanted "to see this," thinking that he would be protected because he considered himself on the side of the ruffians -- having no love for whites, he conveyed with a smile that anything they wanted to do to the other passengers was just fine by him: "you want to knock heads together, go ahead!" But his enjoyment turned to fear and anger as he realized he was just another target for them. It reminded me so strongly of those who think they're on Team Trump... sure, it might be fun watching the left freaking out. You might be eager to see aliens ejected because "they shouldn't have been here in the first place." But Trumpers aren't special and will also eventually also be hurt in ways that are both tragic and predictable. Just because they aren't first in line for trauma doesn't mean it isn't coming for them -- there's no "team" when it comes to bulles: there are only potential victims.

C-

The Accountant 2 (2025)

Gary and I had a good time with the first installment, so we decided to give this one a whirl and it simply doesn't work in the same way. Affleck's character is the same and that's the one thing that does go well, but they otherwise tweaked a winning formula in all the wrong ways. 

Beefing up the role of his brother would've been alright if his brother weren't also an atypical personality but, since he's both needy and chaotic, it just feels like adding another main dish that isn't quite as tasty as the first. Another issue is that our "avatar" --  a Treasury Department investigator named Marybeth -- is a naysaying skeptic that is more horrified than energized by what Christian can do. We are watching this movie for fun and having someone shit all over the fun at every turn kind of ruins that. And then there's the mystery itself. In the first film it was about corporate greed, but this time around it's about human trafficking and slaughtering inconvenient children, which is just way too heavy for a popcorn flick.

If the movies had come out in reverse order, I'd have never bothered watching another.

C-

Black Bag (2025)

I've just now realized that a movie directed by Soderbergh is not a slam dunk & I'm not sure why it took me so long to get here -- I should've noted this way back in 2005 when he gave us Bubble. And again in 2007 with Ocean's Thirteen. But then he goes and makes Logan Lucky, winning me back, right before he delivers Unsane, which lost me again.

Anyway. This movie is such a borefest. I had such a hard time focusing on the incessant dialogue that I just couldn't make myself care about any resolution.

C-

The Boy and the Heron (2023)

Mahito moves to his mother's ancestral home after she dies and his father marries her younger sister. On the estate, Mahito is harrassed by a persistent gray heron. When his pregnant stepmother goes on a walk and doesn't return, he is lured to a mystical tower by the heron and enters into a dreamlike world in his pursuit of rescuing her.

It's a nightmarish mess of a story and the heron morphs into a scary trollish man wearing a heron costume. I rarely understood what was supposed to be happening. Beautiful animation, but who cares when it's put to use for such a nonsensical tale?

C-

Parallel (2024)

Vanessa and Alex are spending some time with his brother while they are still grieving the loss of their son. They're staying in a house that used to belong to the men's father, deep in the woods. When out for a walk on her own, Vanessa dodges a literal bullet, fired by someone who looks exactly like her.

The plot of "stumbling around parallel universes trying to get back to the one I know" is not new (e.g. Coherence) so, if you're gonna do it, you should do something special with it. This movie doesn't do anything special and the characters are neither relatable nor likable. I just don't see any reason to have made this.

C-

On the Fringe (2023)

Follows several storylines of poverty in Spain, each more miserable than the last. A woman about to lose her home for failure to pay works with a "Stop Evictions" group in hopes of her family being allowed to stay put. A young girl is taken into care when she's found at home alone since her mother works every waking hour to keep them housed. A man grabbing temporary work where he can has stopped taking his mother's calls out of embarrassment at his inability to pay her back. Meanwhile, that elderly mother can no longer pay her own housing costs and is falling into despair. From a different viewpoint, we see heart-of-gold middle-class Rafa chasing around all day to reunite the young girl with her mother at the expense of his own family obligations.

Though the acting is solid and the story's important, the non-stop hopelessness is hard to watch.

C-