Genie (2023)

The basic story is solid: husband prioritizes work over family so wife leaves him during the holiday season but then the husband acquires a genie who is committed to helping him win back his family. Casting Melissa McCarthy as the unfamiliar-with-the-modern-world genie should've made for a slam dunk. But, somehow, it just isn't.

I know I bang on a lot about being confused about the "when" of things in movies, but it was a particular problem here. What seemed like a couple of days of happenings was referred to as "a few weeks" at one point. Also, I wasn't clear that the wife was LEAVING leaving -- it seemed like she just needed a couple of days to clear her head. Too much murkiness and, probably, crucial connecting bits left on the cutting room floor. 

Basically, it's fun but also felt like student work or a TV movie. 

C+

Please Don't Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain (2023)

Three friends since childhood now live together and work at the same place. When they discover that a watch they found as kids might hold the key to a lost treasure, they head off to find it.

If you're a fan of Please Don't Destroy's SNL videos (and I am), you will not be disappointed. But, really, anyone who likes unbridled silliness is gonna have a great time. It's completely ridiculous and not all jokes stick the landing, but the majority do. Not bad at all considering there's at least a joke a minute!

B

Don't Worry Darling (2022)

Several dozen families live in typical mid-century planned community out in the desert. The women keep house, shop, cook, and take care of the kids while the men all do top-secret work for the same company. When one of the wives starts to behave unpredictably, Alice notices and starts to question the status quo.

I had to see this just to find out the impact of all the drama surrounding the making of this film. What I found out was that if I hadn't known, I wouldn't have noticed any issues. It was fine though derivative: at times I thought "Stepford Wives?" and at others it was "The Village?" I wasn't really wrong with either of those guesses.

C+

Bells Are Ringing (1960)

Ella works for an answering service and simply cannot stop herself from doing what she can to improve the lives of the clients. She has to get creative in order to keep helping without raising the notice of the cops, who are sniffing around on suspicion of unsavory activities. Things get especially sticky when she finally meets her favorite client and they begin to fall in love.

I've seen this at least four times and listen to the soundtrack regularly. It's a spectacular musical: goofy, charming and life-affirming. The songs are also top-notch (fun fact: the one time I auditioned for a local theater musical, I used "It's a Perfect Relationship"). Dean Martin is all rumply charm while Judy Holliday is what a rainbow would be if it were transformed into a person. 

It's a delight.

A

Watching the Detectives (2007)

Neil, the owner of an independent video rental store, has his interest piqued by customer Violet. Soon she's a fixture in his life -- but only when she instigates a meeting. Every encounter is wacky and/or exciting and/or dangerous in some way.

Though the story here is pretty basic and the antics would be annoying (or at least exhausting) in real life, Cillian Murphy and Lucy Liu have buckets of chemistry. That said, the romance is unlikely to stick with me for long. Instead, I'll remember the deep-dive film nerds who make up Neil's circle of friends. That's a bunch with whom I'd love to hang.

C+

Selena Gomez: My Mind & Me (2022)

Although I've known who Selena Gomez is for a long while, I hadn't consumed any of her art until Only Murders in the Building. So, this was a lot of new information for me -- like I had no idea that she was a literal superstar with millions of adoring fans. I also wasn't aware of the ridiculous pressures put on performers in the form of press junkets and other obligations of the fame machinery (which, of course, is not particular to Gomez). 

I came away from this with real admiration for her. She's really trying to stay grounded and to do good. One thing I think she should consider -- maybe with the help of a therapist -- is dumping "special guest star" Raquelle Stevens. Here she comes across as less of a best friend and more of a person benefiting from Gomez's fame and desperate to keep Selena on the hamster wheel regardless of the toll it takes on her happiness and health.

B-

The Change-Up (2011)

Two guys in their 30s who have been friends since childhood have taken completely different paths in life. Dave's a successful lawyer with three kids and a lovely wife while Mitch is a struggling actor living in a shitty apartment that sees a parade of sexual partners. At the end of a guys' night out, they're declaring how jealous they are of each others' lives and wham -- a "Freaky Friday" situation happens.

I'm not sure if this would've been funnier pre-Me Too, but it's low-key gross now. The funniest (though also terrifying) bits were the segments with Mitch-in-Dave attempting to wrangle his infant twins. All the parts where the guys are contemplating sex with partners they shouldn't are just nose-wrinkling. In all, the writing just felt like it was either stealing from other movies (searching for the fountain was the same plot as searching for Zoltar in Big) or taking the laziest path possible.

D+

The Old Way (2023)

Colton Briggs (Cage) is a former gun for hire who has now settled into domesticity. He's got a wife, a piece of land, a shop, and a daughter -- in that order. When he's tracked down by a guy with a grudge, he takes his daughter with him to take care of the situation.

It's interesting only because Cage almost can't stop himself from being interesting. Otherwise, the only thing it's got going for it is the novel device of the daughter being a sociopath who needs to be taught how to mimic human emotion.

C+

The Mauritanian (2021)

Based on a true story concerning Mohamedou Ould Slahi, one of the suspected recruiters for the men who carried out the hijackings on 9/11. He's taken from home, eventually winds up in Guantanamo, and stays there for about 14 years. After a couple of years, a lawyer learns of the case and wants to take it on as an interesting fight for rights, regardless of whether he's guilty. We also see the struggle of the prosecutor assigned to the case as he tries to navigate the opacity of Gitmo.

So, it's an interesting story about a disgusting chapter in our history (a chapter that's still being written since Guantanamo remains in use), but the film is fairly standard. Despite the fact that Cumberbatch clearly believes that all Americans speak in the long drawl of a southern gentleman, all of the actors do a solid job. The impact, however, was similar to that of a well-researched news story.

B-

The House Bunny (2008)

Because she grew up in an orphanage, all Shelley knows about family was learned during her time living in the Playboy Mansion. When she is kicked out, she lands a job as the house mother to a sorority on the brink of losing their chapter due to low membership. These girls are socially awkward and the house is a mess, but Shelley has plans to help.

It's a silly little throwback fluffball with a charming performance by Anna Faris in the title role. Don't get me wrong: it's super dumb. But it also made me laugh, so I can't complain too much.

C+

Elemental (2023)

Ember and Wade meet and -- though they're a danger to each other -- they're also drawn to each other. Ember's got some rage issues and some drama with her working-class parents and their expectation that she will take over their store some day. Wade, in contrast, seems to be a rich kid whose parents coddle him. Pretty big topics for an animated movie. 

This is, I'm guessing, supposed to be some kind of Romeo & Juliet anti-racism thing, but it feels tortured. Human bias against others of their species is purely prejudice: the only danger in dating outside one's race is societal. But in Element City the danger is very real: Wade can extinguish Ember while Ember can evaporate Wade. That's not something beings should just look past. And Ember's short fuse isn't cute or forgivable just because it's a symptom of her reluctance to be a shopkeeper. This whole elements-as-characters thing should've died before it got going.

Really beautiful animation, though.

C

Willow Creek (2014)

A couple set out to make a documentary about the lore of and search for Bigfoot. First: I'm not sure who would watch such a banal documentary. What we see being shot is boring, amateurish, and well-trod subject matter. 

I was assuming that the action would pick up once they actually got to hiking and camping in the woods, but nope! All of the action takes place outside of the tent during the night so what we get is 15 minutes or so of them reacting and whispering about how scared they are of whatever's out there. A complete waste of time for me and everyone involved in making this.

D

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023)

Vibrantly animated, but it feels like it's just a "connector" movie that couldn't possibly stand on its own. I am excited to see the next one since the ending of this one got my mind racing, but it was only racing because of the possibilities I could imagine rather than anything that was actually in this movie. I also have no idea why it had to be so long -- at least 40 minutes too long.

C+