Circus Island (2006)

Carlos has the circus in his blood: he has inherited the family's island (complete with Big Top and Grandpa Circus Ghost) and refuses to stop chasing his dream of being a trapeze artist, despite approaching 50. His wife Lena wisely dumps him and he falls into the arms of her estranged sister... whom he'd previously never seen nor met. A decade later, the unhappy daughter he left behind runs away to the island to find her father, who by now has three new kids with Aunt Stepmom. When she comes looking for her daughter, Lena decides to help out her ex and sis by financing a Circus Camp, where kids can learn to be circus performers. Solid plan, everyone! 

I'm fairly certain this is the most inept film I've literally ever seen. Storylines start then peter out, the timelines make zero sense, the acting is jaw-droppingly terrible, the soundtrack consists of the musical equivalents of those knock-off cartoons that K-Mart used to sell on VHS, and the water taxi operator is named "Jamaica Joe" and leans hard into it. The only worthwhile element is the bad-to-the-bone villain Ashley who vamps around saying things like "Loser" and making barf faces, accuses another camper of sexual assault and then attempts murder by cutting through the safety net. Her insanity doesn't fix anything, but at least it's a break from the interminable training montages.

F