House (1977)

Its bizarre factor makes it tempting to give this a higher grade than it deserves. But, since it could've easily been made by a few of 8th graders with a camera and buckets of technicolor fake blood, I won't pretend.

After a group of girls have their holiday plans fall through, Gorgeous offers her auntie's house as an option. See, she's upset that her father is remarrying -- never mind that she's only met her aunt once when she was a child -- and wants to get away. The friends' names are a little bit of ridiculousness of their own: Gorgeous (she's pretty!), Fantasy (she daydreams!), Prof (she wears glasses!), Melody (she likes music!), Kung Fu (she's sporty!), Mac (she likes to eat and everyone keeps pretending she's fat but she's really NOT!), and Sweet (she's... sweet, I guess). Welp, Auntie says to come on ahead and so they do.

The Aunt has apparently turned evil because her boyfriend didn't return from the war like he promised he would decades before. Her house and cat are also evil. Together (but mostly the house), they take down the girls one by one because eating unmarried girls is their passion. I don't know. It's so aggressively mad I can't even beLIEVE that a movie this fantastically insane exists. I mean wowza.

F