A History of Violence (2005)
Either I'm an idiot who simply doesn't understand genius in movies when it's displayed right in front of me -- or this is complete crap that everyone else is pretending, Emperor's New Clothes-style, is a masterpiece.
The whole "set-up" portion of the movie (and it's so obviously set-up -- there's nothing organic about it) feels like a Hallmark movie that the characters have just, themselves, dropped into. As, until the cameras started rolling, they were in a holding pattern. (Paraphrasing) Husband: "Let's go to the drive-in tonight." Wife: "There hasn't been a drive-in here for 16 years." Um...duh. Wouldn't he KNOW that? And, if he does know that -- wouldn't wife realize he's joking and, you know, smile rather than correct him? Later on...Wife: "we never got to be teenagers together so I'm gonna fix that tonight." How? By putting on a cheerleading outfit and 69ing while pretending mom and dad might hear "next door." Cute? Slutty? Both? Who cares. But could it have really occurred to her to roleplay a missed portion of life together JUST NOW? What utter ridiculous crap.
The dialogue is stupid. The sex is gratuitous...embarrassingly so. The story is simple-minded and problematic. I mean, would mobsters call attention to themselves by rolling right into town and announcing their deduction so that they'll be the prime suspects when mild-mannered Viggo goes missing? Please. Why terrorize him at all? Just snatch him and drag him away. And would wifey-poo truly get sick to her stomach over finding out that her husband of 20 years or so didn't tell her about his past but get rather INTO being violently raped by him on wooden stairs? Seriously? Ugh.
Best part of the movie is William Hurt's scene. I don't think I'd have handed him a nomination, but he certainly does liven things up.
D+
P.S. Why had no one mentioned -- anywhere -- the fact that Viggo Mortensen has a tail?
The whole "set-up" portion of the movie (and it's so obviously set-up -- there's nothing organic about it) feels like a Hallmark movie that the characters have just, themselves, dropped into. As, until the cameras started rolling, they were in a holding pattern. (Paraphrasing) Husband: "Let's go to the drive-in tonight." Wife: "There hasn't been a drive-in here for 16 years." Um...duh. Wouldn't he KNOW that? And, if he does know that -- wouldn't wife realize he's joking and, you know, smile rather than correct him? Later on...Wife: "we never got to be teenagers together so I'm gonna fix that tonight." How? By putting on a cheerleading outfit and 69ing while pretending mom and dad might hear "next door." Cute? Slutty? Both? Who cares. But could it have really occurred to her to roleplay a missed portion of life together JUST NOW? What utter ridiculous crap.
The dialogue is stupid. The sex is gratuitous...embarrassingly so. The story is simple-minded and problematic. I mean, would mobsters call attention to themselves by rolling right into town and announcing their deduction so that they'll be the prime suspects when mild-mannered Viggo goes missing? Please. Why terrorize him at all? Just snatch him and drag him away. And would wifey-poo truly get sick to her stomach over finding out that her husband of 20 years or so didn't tell her about his past but get rather INTO being violently raped by him on wooden stairs? Seriously? Ugh.
Best part of the movie is William Hurt's scene. I don't think I'd have handed him a nomination, but he certainly does liven things up.
D+
P.S. Why had no one mentioned -- anywhere -- the fact that Viggo Mortensen has a tail?
Labels: 2005, Dplus, Drama, Oscar Nominee, Thriller
posted by MeMe | 11:10 PM
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