Tadpole (2002)
Privileged, 15-year-old Oscar has a crush on his oblivious stepmother, Eve. While drunk (I don't know how spindly Oscar convinced the bartender that he's at least 21 -- but let's not worry about that right now), Oscar runs into Eve's best friend, 40ish Diane, and spends the night. Sarcasm alert: how delightfully charming!
Diane's not the only one turned on by Oscar -- the prettiest gal in his class is crushing on him and all of Diane's bored circle of ladies who lunch hang all over him, one even slips him her number. Um...excuse me. When the hell would this EVER happen? It's one thing to locate a single pedophiliac -- another for an entire GROUP to validate (and desire to commit) such horrible behavior as statutory rape.
Alright. Rant over. Even if the subject matter weren't both ridiculous and offensive, the movie's simply not well-written. Oscar and his best friend (the much LESS urbane Charlie) have self-conscious, overly-scripted chats about romance and, because Eve expressed a fondness for sideburns in her youth, shave a dog together to give Oscar some. There's also a ridiculous dinner scene with Diane, Eve, Oscar, and Oscar's father, Stanley, in which Oscar and Diane engage in some sort of madcap-in-slow-motion code talking, the schoolgirl hottie turns up in the same restaurant, and Diane forces an away-from-the-table kiss on Oscar which, due to the placement of a mirror, is seen by Stanley (who should, at this point, call the police -- but, again, let's not worry about that as the film sure as hell doesn't).
I simply have to write this movie off as a teenboy fantasy. I'm thankful it's such a sloppy film...it means I don't have to worry about anyone thinking I'm endorsing its content by giving it a high grade.
C-
Diane's not the only one turned on by Oscar -- the prettiest gal in his class is crushing on him and all of Diane's bored circle of ladies who lunch hang all over him, one even slips him her number. Um...excuse me. When the hell would this EVER happen? It's one thing to locate a single pedophiliac -- another for an entire GROUP to validate (and desire to commit) such horrible behavior as statutory rape.
Alright. Rant over. Even if the subject matter weren't both ridiculous and offensive, the movie's simply not well-written. Oscar and his best friend (the much LESS urbane Charlie) have self-conscious, overly-scripted chats about romance and, because Eve expressed a fondness for sideburns in her youth, shave a dog together to give Oscar some. There's also a ridiculous dinner scene with Diane, Eve, Oscar, and Oscar's father, Stanley, in which Oscar and Diane engage in some sort of madcap-in-slow-motion code talking, the schoolgirl hottie turns up in the same restaurant, and Diane forces an away-from-the-table kiss on Oscar which, due to the placement of a mirror, is seen by Stanley (who should, at this point, call the police -- but, again, let's not worry about that as the film sure as hell doesn't).
I simply have to write this movie off as a teenboy fantasy. I'm thankful it's such a sloppy film...it means I don't have to worry about anyone thinking I'm endorsing its content by giving it a high grade.
C-
posted by MeMe | 9:40 AM
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