The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada (2005)

I really, really don't like this movie.

Barry Pepper's a selfish bastard of a jerk border patrolman with a pretty wife. He enjoys smacking border jumpers around before kickin' 'em back to their side. When he feels horny, he lifts the skirt of his pretty little wife, while she's chopping zucchini in the kitchen, and takes care of the urge in about 40 seconds -- while the expression on her face only becomes more bored than it was before he walked in.

Tommy Lee Jones is easier to like, but I'm pretty sure he's playing a mentally disabled person. After Pepper accidentally kills his illegal alien buddy, he forces Pepper on a journey to bury him. Jones says little, but when he does, his words are ridiculous and ssssslllllloooooooow and, when they finally hit their "destination," he gets even nuttier -- something I didn't think would be possible.

The weirdest thing about this movie is that so many critics called it "beautiful" and the like. I guess if you show enough vistas, horses, and loneliness, you can convince audiences en masse that they're in the presence of poetic greatness. I'm of the mind that if it doesn't entertain me, there's no reason to pretend it does.

D+