Critical MeMe

Time spent watching films, even crappy ones, is time well-spent.

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Location: Kansas City, MO, United States
    Post dates are when I watched, parenthetical dates are the year of US release (aka Oscar eligibility).

4/29/2006

Shopgirl (2005)

The movie is narrated by Martin as if what we're seeing played out is some kind of romantic fairytale with a little bit of hurt, a little bit of learning, and a happy ending. The movie seems to think of itself as something warm to cuddle up with -- but instead it's cruel and empty.

In a nutshell: Mirabelle (Claire Danes) is a lonely transplant from the northeast trying to make a go of it as an artist in L.A. She spends the daylight hours as a clerk in the glove department at Saks and it looks like a place where every minute would stretch into an eternity. She meets a slacker at a laundromat and, despite a disastrous first date, later calls him up in a fit of sexual desperation. Then suave, older guy sets his sights on her and she's swept away into a world of gifts and attention, though not affection. If these were my only two choices for heterosexual relations, I'd become a lesbian right quick. Danes is tremendously affecting and believable, but she's stranded by a mean script just brimming with contrivance.

I've heard that this story was based on events in Martin's own life. If that's true, I don't like him.

C-

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4/27/2006

Duane Hopwood (2005)

I really hate David Schwimmer's face. It looks like a wax museum piece that got ever so slightly elongated, but not so much so that they were willing to go through the hard work of scrapping it and starting over. I can't take that face seriously.

Still, Schwimmer does his darndest to get us to believe him as a drunk who's lost his wife and his license and is on the verge of throwing away his job and social prospects as well. The performances and story aren't bad -- but they're also not so spectacular that a movie needed to be made to showcase them. Janeane Garofalo, as the unbelievably patient ex-wife, is very good.

C

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4/25/2006

The Skeleton Key (2005)

I watched this in the wee hours of the morning, during a freaky lightning storm, with my two children vomiting tag-team style down the hall. I'd watch for ten minutes then go check on them - wiping mouths, exchanging bowls, gauging temperatures - and then return to the film for another piece of the story. I explain the situation because I think it has to do with how effective I found the movie to be.

Kate Hudson's a caregiver sick of her depressing nursing home job who takes a high-paying in-home position in the Louisiana Bayou caring for an apparent stroke victim. She becomes convinced that stroke is not to blame for his condition but, rather, "Hoodoo" - a magic that can only work on those who believe in it. I was drawn in to the increasing nervousness of the heroine. Basically, I believed -- and, like hoodoo, I think that's why it worked on me. Plus Peter Sarsgaard's in it and I kinda have a crush on him.

B

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4/22/2006

Four Brothers (2005)

The title full-grown brothers, former foster care kids, join together to figure out and avenge the murder of their adoptive mother.

Good for what it is: a violent, action-packed, "little bad guys against the big bad guys" story. There's an especially excellent car chase scene.

B-

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4/21/2006

Mrs Henderson Presents (2005)

While her friends are doing embroidery to get their kicks, feisty Mrs. Henderson, a new widow, buys an empty theater on a whim. After an initial flush of success, imitators drive down her profits until she comes up with the novel idea to "get rid of the clothes."

Although there is a LOT of nudity in this movie, it's not voyeuristic -- nor are the naked women the most interesting element of the movie. If anything, what's happening onstage becomes pretty boring pretty quickly. The Windmill Theater might have its place in English history for breaking taboos and remaining open throughout World War II, but it's pretty much standard song and dance with a couple of naked women posing motionless as backdrops.

The real fire in this film comes from the chemistry between Mrs Henderson and the theater manager. They bicker charmingly -- both fighting for control, both constantly exasperated with the other, both holding obvious admiration for the other. Judi Dench and Bob Hoskins provide some heart in the roles, but there's simply not enough story to keep the movie clipping along.

B-

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4/17/2006

Sky High (2005)

Basically: "Hogwarts for Superheroes."

Though derivative, it's rather clever. They take the standard nerd-gets-cool high school comedy and throw in some pretty funny superhero riffs (rather than dodgeball, they play "Save the Citizen" in gym class). Though the climactic scene is predictable, the film as a whole is a delight.

B

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4/15/2006

Ellie Parker (2005)

A week (or so) in the life of an actress on the verge of quitting the demoralizing business.

Naomi Watts is certainly great at throwing herself into roles -- and I think there are signs that Ellie Parker could be as well. I was quite intrigued by the first few scenes where Ellie is shifting gears rapidly between auditions for Southern Belle and Whore. She changes make-up, outfit, accent, and attitude all while barrelling through traffic at full-speed. She puts herself through this hell for the promise of a role in the junkiest of projects -- something I know thousands of actors do every day in California. It's interesting.

Less interesting, however, is Parker's love life -- first with a narcissistic, guitar-playing, cheating-in-their-bed loser and later with an insecure wannabe filmmaker. If the film would've maintained focus on what makes Ellie unique, i.e. her acting only, this may have been worth something. But as it turns its attention to who Ellie is outside of auditions -- it becomes clear that she's empty and not worth my attention.

D+

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4/14/2006

Arrowsmith (1931)

Arrowsmith (Ronald Colman) is a promising young medical researcher who tosses his high ambitions to marry the feisty Leora (Helen Hayes) and become a country doctor.

But he doesn't last long in the rural setting and he's soon tempted back into the world of big-city research, which leaves his wife as nothing more than a worried little fly buzzing around him when he bothers to come home. She continues to buzz, though -- doing her best to remain a part of his life by chasing after him wherever he goes.

It's not bad exactly -- but it's also not very heartwarming or exciting or interesting. It fails to engage as either a romance or a medical morality tale.

C-

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4/08/2006

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (2005)

First: a disclaimer. I loooooovvvvve C. S. Lewis and my introduction to his work was The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, first read when I was quite young. I had my own ideas of how the children, the wardrobe, the land of Narnia, and all of its inhabitants should look -- and the film doesn't get any of that wrong.

However, I believe that it's a mistake to take this slim volume and "pad" it into an epic. Just because the films in the Lord of the Rings trilogy were lengthy doesn't mean that every fantasy series should aim for the same in order to be successful. The Narnia books are all rather to-the-point -- the climactic battle is a scant three pages in my paperback copy. Why does the screenplay give such importance to taking down the enemy when, clearly, Lewis's greater focus was on the wonder of the place and relationships between the characters?

I am looking forward to future installments. Everything looked beautiful and I expect that these capable actors will grow into comfortable ones as they gain more experience (as the Harry Potter youngsters have).

B

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4/07/2006

Loggerheads (2005)

The story unfolds in three different places and times -- though I misunderstood the time aspect at first. Each story STAYS in its own time, though I at first assumed it was a "one year later, for everyone" type of deal. The confusion would have been fairly easy to fix if the fimmakers had chosen to introduce the characters in a non-sequential time order OR if they'd simply shown the title cards once more for each storyline.

Anyway. This unremarkable movie (based on true events) moves extremely slowly. There's just not near enough story to fill the minutes -- despite the fact that we've got three different groups on whom to focus and only 95 minutes to fill. The acting isn't bad (Bonnie Hunt is downright brilliant), but if the script's not there, what's the point?

Also - I don't know if my DVD (from Netflix) was simply defective, but the picture was elongated and it made me a bit motion-sick to watch it. It looked as though a widescreen presentation had simply been stretched vertically to fit the television.

C

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4/04/2006

The Four Feathers (1939)

Harry Faversham is a sensitive boy trapped in a military family. He's fulfills the expectations placed on him by joining up and reaching the level of lieutenant. But when his unit is called to action in the Sudan, he resigns immediately -- causing three fellow soldiers and his fiancé to formally label him a coward by sending the titular feathers to him. So...he decides to go, on his own, to the Sudan and work dangerously undercover, becoming an even bigger hero than any of his friends.

The problem is that Harry's friends weren't wrong. He was a coward who was shamed into stepping up. His decision was more about saving face than true bravery. Absolutely no one to admire in this one...which made it hard for me to feel touched or excited by the derring-do.

C+

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