Paisan (1949)

A series of 20-minute vignettes depicting the tail end of WWII in Italy. There is some strong writing and what should be extremely affecting situations, but the acting is so universally terrible -- like, laughably bad -- that it’s hard to feel much of anything.

C-

Sometimes a Great Notion (1971)

Henry Fonda is the patriarch of a family of independent loggers in a town of union loggers on strike, effectively making them scabs. The townspeople are bullies and the family are holier-than-thou assholes.

I didn’t care what happened in this story, and the “climax” just left me as indifferent as before. The production value was about on the level of the after school TV specials about divorce I saw when I was in elementary school.

Clumsy direction, wooden acting, and no one to root for add up to a big fat nothin’.

F

Battleground (1949)

It’s a war movie with a bunch of characters who were almost cartoonishly drawn -- seemingly just so we could keep them straight by their quirks.

The strength of this movie comes through showing these soldiers as having more than one side. Not only are they brave when called upon to be so, they're also sometimes terrified to the point of desiring a flesh wound so that they'll be sent home. It’s a notch better than most of the ra-ra WWII movies because there's an honesty in showing just how battered the men were in both body and psyche.

B

Carnage (2011)

I thought this would be really boring.  What I knew going in was that it's a one-set movie with a bunch of talking -- but it was fascinating.  Yes, the people were kind of horrible, but they weren't so horrible as to be unrecognizable. A few times I even caught myself thinking how nice it would be to just let loose in the way that all of the characters eventually did. I started getting into the mindset of “this is how great friendships are born.”

Not that I’d want to be friends with any of those people.

B

Saratoga Trunk (1946)

This is like two separate movies.

The first is dark in tone and regards a woman coming to New Orleans in the late 1800s to blackmail those who slighted her mother. But, hey, her mom was the “other woman” to the patriarch of a society family so it seems to me that a little shunning's in order. Once the family pays her off to leave New Orleans, it’s time for the second movie: this one’s a fluffy tale of a woman scheming to marry a rich man and lying her ass off to do it.

Both stories feature the Texas feller who sees right through her, a frowny Haitian maid/cook/witch (who’s a dead ringer for an older, swarthier Zosia Mamet), and a dwarf servant who made me cringe with his antics. First movie was awful. Second movie was sometimes enjoyable.

C+

Seven Psychopaths (2012)

Wins for originality and likability of just about all of the characters. Weird in a truly enjoyable way.

B+

The Bourne Legacy (2012)

The subjects and scientists involved in a biotech study are being wiped out by the people in charge --which is a good set up -- but it didn't feel like there was quite enough story to build a movie around. I'm not going to complain too much as it was tense and entertaining anyway.

Renner is a good fit for the franchise; he's terse and believable as an action hero. Weisz is, as ever, pretty perfect.

B+

Viva Zapata! (1952)

The only enjoyable thing about this movie was playing “moustache watch” with the ridiculous strips of hair affixed to Brando’s lips; they were often askew and varied in length, even within the same scene.  He was so unrecognizable that it took at least 20 minutes before I was sure it was him -- his nostrils were expanded, his eyes seemed to have been puffed and stretched to be Asian-like, and his acting ability was taking a break.

Completely devoid of on-purpose entertainment value.

D-

Sleepwalk with Me (2012)

This was a slice of such an unusual time in an unusual life (struggling comedian deals with an inevitable march toward the altar as he also suffers dangerous sleepwalking episodes and an increasingly hectic schedule), that it has a hard time coming across as authentic.  I wasn't bored, but there was nothing recognizable in it for me and 99 percent of the population.

B-

Frenemy (2010)

Ugh. I downright hated the first third or so of the movie, I just wanted them to SHUT UP. But it got slightly better once Adam Baldwin showed up -- not good, but not as bad as it had been.

Pretentious and talky and annoying, but the soundtrack is great and Callum Blue is beautiful, so I'll bump up the grade a bit from an F.

D

Wet Hot American Summer (2001)

A movie club pick; my second viewing.

A lot of scenes in this movie make me giggle, but I doubt it’s very funny unless you have a reference point or two for it. If you grew up in the ‘80s or just watched a lot of bad ‘80s movies and/or went to camp as a kid, you’ve got a head start being on its wavelength. If you’re zero for three on those criteria, you’re probably out of luck.

B-

Imitation of Life (1934)

This one's a great melodrama that’s better than its remake (a film I saw a few times growing up since it happened to be one of my mother's favorite movies).  Colbert plays a young widow with a toddler who has a chance meeting with Delilah, a black woman with a young daughter of her own, looking for work. Turns out her new maid can cook a mean pancake and they’re soon in the restaurant business.

All that’s fine and good, but the real meat of the story is how mothers give up happiness for their children. The black daughter passes easily for white and doesn’t like it when her mom ruins the charade.  The white daughter falls in love with her mother's fiancee, so mom gives him up so as not to rub salt in her girl's wound.

I’d like it a lot better if Delilah weren’t such a doormat martyr, but the power of both mother-love stories is undeniable.

B+

Gaby: A True Story (1987)

Well-handled movie about a girl born with cerebral palsey in 1947. The first 30 minutes or so were almost Helen Kellerish while she’s given up as an irritant rather than a person.  But, luckily for the family, they employed a housemaid who thought she could get through to her. Unfortunately, the story is linear in such a way that it feels like it goes on longer than necessary.

Still, pretty interesting.

B

The Day of the Locust (1975)

I think this is some kind of Hollywood-in-the-‘30s fever dream. Aspiring actress leads a young art director on but shacks up with a lonely recluse. It’s confusing and freaky. There’s an annoying androgynous child, cockfighting, a stag movie night at a brothel, a collapse of a movie set that hurts dozens, a father and daughter who torture each other with manic laughter and song respectively, and a deadly riot at a movie premiere. And that’s not even all of the weird things.

If there'd been some payoff for sitting through all of the wtf moments, I may not have hated this so much.

D-