Kalifornia (1993)

Brad Pitt’s a hillbilly psychopath who, along with his apparently borderline-retarded girlfriend Julliette Lewis, hops a ride to California with a writer and his photographer girlfriend.

The writer/photographer team are so uninteresting that there was really no reason to care whether they became part of the body count hillbilly-psycho was racking up. Just not worthwhile.

D+

Common (2014)

Three kids grab a lift from a friend's brother for the purpose of going to beat up another one, but a bystander winds up getting stabbed and all four boys are being charged under “joint enterprise.”

The story is at its most powerful when focused on the bereaved parents. The young -- oblivious -- driver’s story is also interesting, but it’s so obviously got a political agenda (England’s joint enterprise law is unFAIR) that, though seemingly an accurate assessment of the law, it was kind of difficult to let myself get lost in it.

B-

Room (2015)

A young woman is doing a pretty fantastic job of raising her son on her own. He’s well-mannered, healthy, clean, and obviously bright. But his entire life has been contained in the single room they share as captives of “Old Nick.”

Just looking at the cast list spoils the fact that there’s action outside of the room, but I was surprised by just how much takes place outside. I found myself wishing -- like the boy -- that we could've stayed there longer. But perhaps that's kind of the point...? How we can long for something more but fear the unfamiliar? How even terrible circumstances can start to feel "normal"?

Regardless, it’s an unusual and moving story with two of the most amazing performances I’ve seen. Ever.

B+

Julie (1956)

The movie starts off with the tension ratcheted to “10” -- jealous husband being driven home by his wife stomps his foot down on top of her accelerator foot and forces a swervy nerve-wracking race through traffic. She soon suspects and then confirms that he killed her first husband so he could grab the widow. Then it gets boring. She runs. She becomes a stewardess. He finds her and gets on one of her flights. He kills/disables the pilot and co-pilot.

The final 20 minutes or so are like a misogynistic filmstrip on how planes navigate & land with Doris Day as the “honey” at the controls.

C

Undercurrent (1946)

Rich dude comes and sweeps a plain Jane off her feet and into D.C. society. She doesn’t quite fit in until he remakes her into someone worthy of the company he keeps. He’s kind of moody and definitely obsessed with his missing brother… an obsession she starts to share once he brings it up a few times too often.

Is “overcurrent” a thing? Because that’s what the tension in this film is...it’s right there on the surface, darkening everything in the vicinity. There’s absolutely no finesse here.

D+

Populaire (2013)

Against the wishes of her father, a small-town girl goes to the city to find work as a secretary. Though she’s clutzy, disorganized, and otherwise ill-equipped for work, she lands a job based solely on her typing speed because her new employer predicts glory though championship speed typing competitions. Will she win at typing? Will they win at love? Can BOTH victories be achieved? Spoiler: duh.

I’m not really sure why it exists, but it’s inoffensive and charming; just a piece of throwback fluff.

B

The Long Goodbye (1973)

So, I finally found the apparent inspiration for last year’s rambly, boring, thought-it-was-clever-but-really-wasn’t Inherent Vice. Not that I was looking for it.

This is squarely in the "no bueno" category.

D

Begin Again (2014)

A broken-hearted and deep-in-the-bottle music producer happens upon a broken-hearted songwriter at an open mic night and they, you know, Begin Again. There are a couple of problems with this movie: 1) Keira Knightley can’t lip sync for shit & she’s called upon to do so at least half a dozen times and 2) there are needless jumps backward in time so that I had a bit of trouble remembering where we were in the story.

But everything else just worked. The music was good, the performances were authentic, and the emotions didn’t get watered down. Also, I know the clip below is kind of cheesy, but this is the point in the film where I was just completely won over. On-stage Knightley underwhelms the bar crowd, but drunk Ruffalo manages to hear what it could be rather than what it is.

B

From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler (1973)

The book has won awards for a reason: it’s pure magic and adventure. Who didn’t want to run away and live in a museum after reading this? Just the thought of it gave me shivers of excitement.

But this is not good. Although the child actors are a big part of the problem, there wasn't really anything that allowed me to look past their terrible performances as it all felt like it was put together by amateurs. The only bright spot was Ingrid Bergman, and she didn't show up up until the last act. She pulled the film up an entire letter grade all by herself.

D+

The Leisure Class (2015)

I watched Jason Mann, the director, refuse to give an inch during the third season of Project Greenlight and that strategy worked for him. He got to shoot on film rather than digital, he got a bigger budget, he got to use his own script rather than the one provided to him, and he's got to be kicking himself over all of that now because he didn't leave himself anything to blame for this mess.

I’m embarrassed to admit that I was genuinely on Jason’s side throughout the season. I thought “well, that’s the director’s job: fighting for what he believes in!” I trusted the in-house press who kept telling me he was a gifted director and I figured that they wouldn’t keep throwing money at a poor risk. Even once I'd read the day-after reviews -- none of which were praise -- I still trusted that I would “get” it. From what Project Greenlight had revealed, the movie looked to be a pitch black comedy which wouldn’t tie up neatly, so I simply figured that the naysayers were haters. I guess that could still be true...but even haters can pour their disdain on deserving targets.

“Inept” is kind. “Boring” and “confusing” are both apt. But the best way to describe this film is that it will be, undoubtedly, the absolute worst thing on the resume of every single person involved. It could also very well be the sole feature film on Mann’s resume.

F

The Others (2001)

Soon after the end of WWII, a brittle mother and her two children are alone in their estate -- the servants having quit suddenly and her husband yet to return from the war. To make things more difficult, both children suffer from a life-threatening allergy to sunlight, meaning that light must be kept to a minimum. It’s a nerve-frazzling situation that doesn’t get much easier once a trio of new servants show up at the door.

Second viewing, but I couldn’t remember everything so I was pleased that the five stars I’d rated it after my first watch really held up. Smart and spare with wonderful acting.

A-