Polar (2019)

I've never seen a Mads Mikkelsen movie I didn't like. Correction: I HAD never seen a Mads movie I didn't like until this one. Reading the blurb, which was something like "a retiring assassin has to stay alive long enough to collect the pension his employer doesn't want to pay" sounded pretty solid, but this missed the mark in almost every conceivable way. If we had known while watching that this was based on a graphic novel (and a lot of the bits make a whole lot more sense with that knowledge), I think we would've been more forgiving. But we still wouldn't have liked it.

Ironically, I think the fact that it showed a couple of bursts of genius made it even worse. For example, the scene where the main assassin gives a "career day"-type talk in a kids' classroom (below) could've been hysterical. Instead, it was just another scene that didn't have to fail; the ingredients for comedy gold were all right there.

D