Circus Island (2006)

Carlos has the circus in his blood: he has inherited the family's island (complete with Big Top and Grandpa Circus Ghost) and refuses to stop chasing his dream of being a trapeze artist, despite approaching 50. His wife Lena wisely dumps him and he falls into the arms of her estranged sister... whom he'd previously never seen nor met. A decade later, the unhappy daughter he left behind runs away to the island to find her father, who by now has three new kids with Aunt Stepmom. When she comes looking for her daughter, Lena decides to help out her ex and sis by financing a Circus Camp, where kids can learn to be circus performers. Solid plan, everyone! 

I'm fairly certain this is the most inept film I've literally ever seen. Storylines start then peter out, the timelines make zero sense, the acting is jaw-droppingly terrible, the soundtrack consists of the musical equivalents of those knock-off cartoons that K-Mart used to sell on VHS, and the water taxi operator is named "Jamaica Joe" and leans hard into it. The only worthwhile element is the bad-to-the-bone villain Ashley who vamps around saying things like "Loser" and making barf faces, accuses another camper of sexual assault and then attempts murder by cutting through the safety net. Her insanity doesn't fix anything, but at least it's a break from the interminable training montages.

F

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006)

Gary and I only got about 15 minutes in when we tried to watch it together a couple of years back, so being in the right mindset is a necessity. And what exactly is the right mindset, you ask? An altered one, obviously. 

I mean, it's completely ridiculous and it doesn't always work, but if you hang on for a few minutes something silly is bound to happen and get you laughing.

C+

Duck Season (2006)

It's Sunday and two fourteen year-old best friends are left on their own in an apartment with a plan of video games and junk food. But they soon allow a female neighbor use of their oven since hers isn't working. And, when they order a pizza, the delivery man also sticks around.

Though it took me a while to settle into the odd vibe, I eventually really enjoyed hanging out with these four. Together they form a temporary family at a time when each needed it.

B-

The Holiday (2006)

The first time I saw this, I was pretty hung up on the fact that I didn't like Diaz's and Black's characters. This time, I was in a much more festive mood, apparently, because I wasn't at all bothered. Instead of being annoyed, I was charmed.

B

Gideon's Daughter (2006)

Bill Nighy (the only reason I watched this) is a high-profile PR expert -- in high demand with just about everyone except his high-school daughter. Miranda Richardson is a mother pressuring for action after her son's preventable road-accident death. They meet and start a relationship, which causes him to rethink his life choices.

It's fine, but nothing that's going to stick with me long-term.

C+

Hollywoodland (2006)

Adrien Brody plays a low-rent private detective who's usually staking out cheating spouses. But when George Reeves of Superman fame is found dead of a gunshot, he takes the case on behalf of Reeves' mother who doesn't believe it's suicide - despite what the cops say.

Though I was never bored, I was pretty frustrated at the lack of answers here. The story kept showing "what if it happened this way?" scenarios, which is not satisfying this long after the event. I simply don't know the players well enough to be able to put together my own theory at this point.

So, it was interesting yeah. But, ultimately, it was nothing.

C+

Night at the Museum (2006)

Although there's no getting around the fact that this is definitely a kids' movie, it's the kind of kids' movie that I'm OK with: silly but not at all dumb.

B-

American Dreamz (2006)

An American Idol-like show has a Simon Cowell-like host, a Kelly Clarkson-like contestant, and a middle-Eastern contestant fresh from “Terrorist Camp.” So a George W. Bush-like president’s gonna rehab his image by serving as guest judge with his Dick Cheney-like right-hand man talking to him all Cyrano-like.

It’s almost comedy-like.

C

Marie Antoinette (2006)

Fairly straight retelling of Marie's life -- from her marriage to Louis through their fall during the French revolution -- just with a modern soundtrack. But, boy, what a difference that soundtrack makes in the feel of the story. It was young and relatable rather than (ugh) historical.

B

The Aura (2006)

One of those wonderful movies that I knew almost nothing about going in. I had zero idea of where it was taking me -- how refreshing in spoilery trailer times!

The whole movie cast a spell with limited dialogue and bare-bones approach to both visuals and score. At times it was almost unbearably quiet. I may have enjoyed the experience more than I did the story, but the story is pretty strong on its own.

B+

The Christmas Card (2006)

During the Christmas season, I load up the DVR with every movie that has "Holiday" or "Christmas" in the title. At the moment, there are fourteen of them -- from ABC Family and Hallmark -- sitting unwatched in my movie folder. I'm not sure why I do this...let's just call it a low-level addiction to televised cheer.

Well, this film may be my cure.

The leading man has all the good looks and charm of a Ken doll and the leading lady's character is defined by her love of "counting dots," which has earned her the almost-never-used-but-alluded-to nickname of "Dottie." The whole thing is absolutely devoid of any magic or chemistry, despite the fact that we keep being TOLD how obvious it is that he loves her and she loves him. I couldn't help but wonder if the exposition was added in as an aid once the editors saw how little emotion made it through.

F

Breaking and Entering (2006)

Rich business owner with an office in the bad part of town suffers a break-in and becomes involved with the mother of one of the thieves.

Somehow, despite the sympathetic circumstances of both of the leads and the talent/likability of the actors playing them (Jude Law and Juliette Binoche), this quickly becomes a "no one to root for" deal. Everyone behaves distastefully and there are too many extra hurdles for these people that it just becomes unbelievable.

Jude Law is very vulnerable here, but the movie felt both too muted and too full of portent for me to ever get on its wavelength.

C-

So Much So Fast (2006)

It's an extremely interesting and sobering subject for a documentary: a man is diagnosed with ALS and his non-doctor brother goes on a guerrilla research mission for a cure. And it's also incredibly informative about the way the drug companies work and why some diseases get little attention in the medical community.

But, despite the fascinating theme, I don't think much of it as a film. Yes, I felt for the family and the tragedy of a young man losing so much of himself so quickly, but they were not a very interesting group (and I realize it's slightly horrible to admit that). I mean, I don't think that people in crisis have a responsibility to make sure I'm not bored, but I do think that not everything is at its most potent on film. Putting the struggle and the avenues explored and abandoned during research on the page rather than the screen would have been a better choice, in my opinion.

C+

Flags of Our Fathers (2006)

Saving Private Ryan handled the war scenes much better and the sentimental scenes have been done more effectively in almost every other movie that deals with regret and memory. It doesn't excel at anything it attempts, so what's the point of its existence? It's just slow-moving and carries no real impact.

The most interesting portion of the movie came at the very end, when we were treated to photos of the actual men whose stories were being told in the film. When a photo album is the best thing about your movie, you've just wasted a whole lotta money and time.

C-

Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny (2006)

I'm not sure if laughter "counts" when I'm this ashamed for it afterward. The television show is one of my guilty pleasures, but the movie cured me of telling anyone I'm a fan. Need an example of why I'm over The D? Watch this (warning: definitely NSFW).

They did, however, score a casting coup with the young JB.

C-

The Holiday (2006)

Successful but uptight L.A. girl finds her live-in boyfriend with another woman and chucks him out. Successful but mousey London girl's "when he's bored he hooks up with her" guy gets engaged and she's depressed. They find each other through a house-swap site (though why L.A. girl would swap when she could afford to rent a decked out cottage anywhere is beyond me) and, within days, they're in the air on the way to each other's homes for get-aways.

I like some predictability in romantic comedies. I want that guy to end up with that girl. But I always need to like both halves of the couple to care. In this story, there are two couples and I like precisely one half of each. That isn't enough, so I didn't care.

C

Slither (2006)

Feels like it should be a lot of gross-out horror fun, but it just gets into a rut way too early and keeps repeating itself. Winds up feeling overlong without nearly enough surprises or laughs.

The cast seems game enough (Nathan Fillion! Woo!), but there's just not quite enough story to go 'round.

C

Apocalypto (2006)

Lots of cool stuff happens. There's great action and exciting chase scenes -- but there's just so much of the chase and near escapes and pure luck that it got rather tiresome after a while.

The first couple of scenes are great. We get to see the everyday life of the tribe and are introduced to several of the people; I was enjoying the camp and the easy humor the families shared. Too soon, however, there's upheaval and it's non-stop from there. The only breaks we got from the tediousness of "what can we throw at this guy NOW" were the times when we left the captured protagonist to look in on how his pregnant wife and young son were faring down in the deep hole where they hid during the attack on their camp.

Basically, Apocalypto doesn't wind up delivering on its terrific set-up. If I had to choose between a film starting or ending well, I'd always choose END well, so...dang.

C+

Idiocracy (2006)

The Brawndo Advertisement made my younger son and me laugh so much that I wound up ordering an entire case of the stuff as a Christmas present for him (don't worry -- he only drinks like one a week). Later, I was showing the commercial to a few guys in the office and one of them said "oh, that's from that dumb movie." Until he said that, I had no idea that Brawndo wasn't a standalone product. Of course, I HAD to see the movie once I knew.

It's actually funnier than I expected. Utterly average guy and girl are put into a year-long sleep as part of an army human hibernation project. One year accidentally becomes one hundred and, upon waking, the two discover that they're the smartest people on the planet (here's why). No real surprises, but it's quick-moving and a generated a steady stream of chuckles.

B

Invincible (2006)

Based-in-fact story about a too-old Boston nobody (Mark Wahlberg) winning a spot on the Philadelphia Eagles NFL team. With the possible exception of the pal who refuses to get behind his buddy's dream, everything looks and feels just right.

Yeah, it's predictable, but it's also undeniably feel-good.

B-