Naughty Marietta (1935)

Ah…Jeanette MacDonald's voice. Make it STOP! This time she's joined by a love interest who bursts into boring song as frequently as she. Yecch.

D+

Bowling for Columbine (2002)

Very interesting documentary ostensibly about the reason for the Columbine massacre…but really less an exploration of what makes kids kill and more about Michael Moore: Self Righteous Ass. I felt sorry for most of his interviewees as there is never any way to give a correct answer to this guy once he's decided that you're in the wrong. There were many "oh my word -- that's such a good point" moments, e.g. Marilyn Manson's take on the status of America, which he says boils down to keeping us scared so we'll consume.

I wish Moore would trust his audience enough to be able to tell the crap from the truth. Letting the clips and interviews speak for themselves without running his know-it-all (and sometimes ludicrously prejudicial) voice-overs over the top of them would have been refreshing. He comes off as a whiner and the subject deserves a more reasonable spokesman. In my opinion he's no better than the religious right screaming about the Manson tour in their home town -- just as "in your face" and unwilling to hear the other guy out.

B-

Thoroughly Modern Millie (1967)

What a ridiculous film. It involves a "modern" (basically a girl who dresses in hip clothes but still tries to catch a husband by getting a job with an unmarried boss), a white slavery operation (running under the guise of a Chinese laundry), way too much of Carol Channing (mugging it up as a rich widow getting it on with every man she employs...as well as putting us through a couple of hellish musical numbers), and too much more. It's boring, sloppy, and just plain dumb dumb dumb.

D-

Eight Legged Freaks (2002)

Well, it's a movie about giant spiders terrorizing a town. These people sometimes have a one-liner at the ready. Does what it's supposed to do…makes you jump a little, laugh a little, and shout "what are they THINKING" a lot.

C+

Dark Blue (2003)

Fairly standard corrupt cop movie, but well done. Also benefits from the time setting, which concerns the day of and leading up to the Rodney King verdict. The riot scenes were truly terrifying and awful. The acting was quite good through most of the picture, especially that of Russell & Speedman.

B

Gossip (2000)

I just can't figure out for whom this film is intended. It's too mature for teens and too predictable and petty for adults. It's in a kind of no-man's-age land. Full of "yeah…right" moments and wraps things up with a convolutedly elaborate mindtrip. Would be completely disposable entertainment, but the subject matter is pretty dark...I'm not sure if this makes the film any better, but at least it was a surprise.

Another annoyance: at times the soundtrack was so loud that I couldn't hear the dialogue. I hate that.

C

Comedian (2002)

The film’s focus is Jerry Seinfeld, but it also gives a lot of screen time to a still small-time comic Orny Adams. I was sick of Adams pretty quick -- whiny, self-centered, and (from what I saw) not terribly talented -- but I think the scenes with him were necessary so that we had a point of reference. It's kind of like when they show a picture of a dinosaur in a textbook and draw a little man down by his toenails. Having Orny Adams as a counterpoint to Jerry Seinfeld was a brilliant idea. On his own, Seinfeld could have come off as nervous and unpolished, but because of the way the film goes back and forth between the two, we understand how much more accomplished and crowd-pleasing Jerry is and why.

I have a new respect for those who put their ideas out there for nothing more than the reward of a chorus of laughs.

A-

The Quiet American (2002)

Amazing only in its ability to bore me silly. Caine's nominated acting couldn't be taken down any further…he's nearly sleepwalking. The object of his affection is a bland mannequin -- that two men are supposedly fighting for her affections requires excessive suspension of disbelief. Read the next line with dripping sarcasm: I'm totally buying Brendan Fraser as a master manipulator for the U.S. government.

D

Irreversible (2003)

I was, in turns, seasick, confused, revolted, horrified, terrified, and – most tragically – bored. Perhaps the only film I've ever seen that I think the world would be better off without.

F

Bringing Down the House (2003)

There are some clever and extremely funny moments, but they are far outweighed by the number of predictable clichés. Queen Latifah's character veers from grungy to savvy. It'll keep you occupied for a chunk of time, but it could have been so much better.

C

Run Lola Run (1999)

So energized and inventive -- this is the movie that will get taste-impaired blockbuster-loving types who whine "I hate foreign movies" to eat their words and beg for more.

A

The Man in the Glass Booth (1975)

The first 45 minutes are loathsome. The rest is slightly better, but still pretty yucky. Schell has too many screaming monologues that acted like a sledgehammer to both patience and eardrums. Sure, he does a great job -- but his character is someone I'd happily kick in the balls if I ever actually met him.

D-

Camille Claudel (1989)

The kind of film that plopped me into a world of which I knew nothing, and made me crave more information about my new world.

Fascinating -- terrible and cruel -- majestic and lovely -- real. Adjani and Depardieu amaze.

A-

White Fang (1991)

Everything felt kind of surfacey…nothing got as deep as it should have, so it came off as very broad and TV-movieish. Good story though -- great choice for family viewing.

C+