Assassination Tango (2003)

Duvall tries hard to convince us that he's having a good time in this yawnfest. He's a paranoid old-school hit man stuck twiddling his thumbs in Buenos Aires waiting for his mark to get out of the hospital so he can put a bullet in his chest. He passes his time by getting to know a boring tango dancer and her boring family. He also makes time to kick a phone, bed a prostitute, and throw a tape player. There's also some incomprehensible intrigue going on with his native contacts, but who really cares.

D

Elf (2003)

Seems like this should be a good Christmas film -- the script is whimsical and Will Ferrell is fantastic. But John Favreau simply cannot tell a story well -- it was like flipping through a cute picture book without ever bothering to read the text and get fully invested in any of the lives represented in the portraits.

C-

Eye of God (1997)

Jumps back and forth in time, but that is the only "fancy" thing about this movie. So effective and haunting. I was extremely tense during the last half-hour or so.

B+

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

The best of the three by far. Just sails through the hours -- no need to check your watch, because what's on-screen is captivating. Only slows at the end, and I mean the very end (last 10 minutes or so). Quite satisfying!

A

Country (1984)

This subject (farmers facing repossession) was tackled much more effectively in "The River" in the same year. Shepard's transition from loving family man to abusive drunk is too whip-fast -- the whole thing comes off as manipulative rather than earning true emotion.

C

The Great Lie (1941)

Almost recommendable, but done in by a few twists too many. The plot involves an invalid marriage, a second marriage, a missing pilot, a surprise pregnancy, a clandestine delivery, a secret adoption, pilot back from the dead, threats of homewrecking...whew.

It's interesting that, even with all these "twists," it's still somewhat predictable. The women are good, but George Brent (as the object of both their affections) is rather wooden.

C

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003)

Surprising only in its predictability. Too many men…too many jump cuts during the engagements…I was confused when I was supposed to be enthralled, and bored when I was supposed to be…well, not bored, I'm assuming. Everyone's good, but the story just can't make their efforts worthwhile.

C+

The Italian Job (2003)

Formulaic, forgettable heist double-cross flick -- it's kind of weird that I was so entertained by it. Seth Green has a few funny scenes, but there's really nothing spectacular here.

B-

Lawless Heart (2003)

Told in three perspectives, one after the other, covering the same time frame. Those secondary characters that I dismissed as inconsequential or irritating from one perspective became people who were flawed but forgivable when I saw them from a different view and was allowed to learn more. Just like life: until you know the whole story, you don't know jack. I enjoyed this immensely.

B+

The Star (1952)

Vanity-free Davis does a great job in the role of a has-been golden girl of cinema facing middle-age and bankruptcy. The scenes with Sterling Hayden are alright -- but Hayden's just not on the same level as Davis and doesn't convince as a good guy who just wants to help. He's both too stiff and young.

B+

Owning Mahowny (2003)

This film was so boring that I almost resent having watched it.

Every person in the film seems to be in a constant state of depression -- Philip Seymour Hoffman as the title character foremost among them. Alright, he embezzles to gamble, but while he's gambling he looks agitated & constipated -- as though he's performing a distasteful task he's being forced to complete.

At the end of the film he is asked to, on a scale of 1 to 100, rate the "thrill" gambling gave him. I swear that, in the seconds before he answered, I knew he was going to say a number like "2" -- that he didn't enjoy it...it was just something to which he was addicted and couldn't break free. Imagine my surprise when he blurts out "100." Uh, OK. Why didn't you ever smile, then? Why was there never a spring in your step when entering a casino? Poor guy -- if he ever actually experienced an actual "100" thrill moment, his heart would probably burst from surprise.

D-

Bruce Almighty (2003)

Haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Carrey's in his element here and Aniston is a good match.

B+

I'll Be Home for Christmas (1997)

The weak link here is Palance, just kind of stumbling through his role and whispering his lines with odd punctuation. The story itself could have used a bit of a goose…a little bit more humor, a little bit more romance. But, it ain't bad and Ann Jillian is radiant as the high-school sweetheart who helps the big city doc see where he belongs.

C+