Kingdom of Heaven (2005)

Historical epics can go either way for me. Without a doubt, history has always been my worst subject (followed closely by geography) - so I have very little natural interest. It MUST be a compelling movie on its own for me to care. Unfortunately, this wasn't.

Orlando Bloom plays Balian, a small-town blacksmith who's just lost his family. Liam Neeson drops by to introduce himself as a Jerusalem baron and Balian's long-missing father then dies leaving Balian to defend the Holy Land from invasion.

There's a disintegrating young king wearing a metal mask, an adulterous woman as Bloom's love interest, and a lot of interchangeable second bananas. I wasn't interested enough to make a real effort to keep things straight.

C-