Music From Another Room (1998)

I have no idea what type of person could read this script and say "I've got to be involved in this movie!"

I guess it's supposed to feel like an epic romance. See, at five years old, the guy (grown-up version played by Jude Law) helped deliver the girl by using his little hands to unwrap the umbilical cord from her neck. Right then and there, he declares he's going to marry her. Huh? What five year old has marriage on the brain? Unfortunately, the girl turns out to be Gretchen Mol: a tightly wound bore whose defining characteristic seems to be poor acting.

Listen, we all say some stupid shit when we're kids. Yeah, it'd be a cool story if you wound up getting with her, but when the object of your childhood verbal betrothal turns out to be, you know, a shrew, just chalk it up to youthful babblings and move on, pal.

D+