The Bodyguard (1992)

Frank is hired as a bodyguard to Rachel, a singer turned actress, who hasn't quite yet accepted that her level of fame now requires extra security. She's bratty and entitled and generally makes Frank's job much more difficult than it has to be. She's got a cute kid, a jealous sister, and the hots for Frank.

I don't know what I was expecting with this film nor how I avoided seeing it for 30 years, but it was definitely not worth the wait. Houston's lack of acting ability is only one in a long list of issues with this film. It's also overlong, underwritten, and contains too few surprises.

D+

Bridget Jones's Baby (2016)

The best of the the three films. As with the other two, however, you have to be willing to suspend disbelief. I mean, is a billionaire actually going to screw a rando and then happily accept responsibility for her pregnancy without an absolute TON of paperwork? But, it's got charm enough to cover any "yeah right..." moments.

B-

Dual (2022)

In the future, you can get cloned if you're dying so that those you leave behind don't have to be sad. So, when Sarah gets sick, she does just this. But clones are only approved for terminal people, which means that when Sarah recovers, one of them has got to go.

Such an amazing idea, but it's ruined by the deliberately emotionless behavior of all concerned -- as though they were all automated phone systems come to life. I saw the writer/director's "Art of Self Defense," and it's clear this is a tic of his, but it just doesn't work at all here. I thought this could've been a real winner if the people displayed normal emotions, but the weird style distracted from the innovative story.

C+

Prey (2021)

Five men on a bachelor party kayaking/hiking trip suddenly find themselves being fired on by an unseen shooter. They, of course, try to get away while arguing with each other on how to do that most effectively while their party dwindles. There're effective pieces to the story, e.g. flashbacks that allow us to get to know the bride-to-be and simmering tensions about a job offer between brothers that may not ever pan out.

So, while there's some potential here, the shooter's reason for hunting falls flat. Yes, it's sad but it's not a believable enough reason to terrorize the woods, in my opinion. It's especially no justification to kill a convenience store worker.

C+

The Christmas Train (2017)

A journalist is traveling from New York to Los Angeles by train in order to fulfill a promise to his late father. Also on board is his ex-girlfriend, a former journalist now working on scripts. For some reason, this train is called "The Christmas Train" by the conductor, engineer, and other passengers. We've got the eloping couple facing opposition from rich parents, the lonelyheart busybody, the recent widower, a bigshot Hollywood director, and an arrogant chess master.

It's clumsy and obvious and, somehow, still not a terrible way to spend a cozy winter evening. The twist at the end pulls it up a bit.

C

Luckiest Girl Alive (2022)

The release of a memoir by a former classmate/fellow survivor of a school shooting brings Ani's trauma to the surface again. The book release comes when the rest of Ani's life seems to be on an enviable track: getting married soon to a very rich man and about to be offered a huge job in journalism -- not too shabby for a former scholarship student.

This is really effectively told, interspersing disturbing flashback scenes with Ani's current situation. It's jarring and involving. Ani is a wonderfully complex creation -- not just one thing or the other. I went from wrinkling my nose at the games she's playing to get ahead (e.g. shoving food into her mouth only after her fiance leaves the table & pretending her boss's office is her own when the boss is out to lunch) to moaning in despair as she's trapped into sexual situations in scenes from her school days.

Though a little too formulaic, it's truly cathartic and important.

B

Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris (2022)

Mrs. Harris is a good-natured cleaning lady in London. She's got a clutch of great friends and clients who think the world of her. When she sees a Dior dress, she is so taken with it that she decides to save up to buy one for herself.

What a wonderfully lovely puff of magic this film is. Leslie Manville is so sweet in this role, easily winning over almost everyone in her path with her kindness and genuineness. Though it's light as a feather, I found myself weeping for joy when she found herself at a private Dior fashion show. Darling film.

B

Netflix vs. the World (2020)

The sheer volume of white guy talking heads got confusing really fast. At one point, a Blockbuster guy was talking about a bad launch they did and another guy popped up and said "that's when I knew we'd won" or something similar. I had thought that guy was also from Blockbuster, but apparently not?

It's an interesting story told flatly and with truly subpar animation. Should've been an hour tops.

C-

Planes, Trains & Automobiles (1987)

I'd seen this a few times, but we were showing it to my son and his wife on Thanksgiving, who thought it was just fine. Gary and I hyped it way too much -- obviously, we were remembering how it felt when we first saw it as naïve college kids. 

By now this odd-couple road trip from hell has been copied to death and often done better (Tommy Boy is a prime example). But, it still manages to be fun even though many scenes come off a tad tame. I mean, the scene at the rental counter with all the F-bombs? That sounds like us on a game night now.

B-

Beckett (2021)

Beckett, an American tourist in Greece, gets into a car accident which claims the life of his girlfriend. He's taken to the hospital, questioned by the police, goes back to the scene of the accident, gets shot at, and we're off!

I kept thinking that if this had been made 60 years ago it might've done really well. The storyline is Hitchcockian: a guy with no experience in evasion suddenly finds himself on the lam with no understanding of why. But at this point in history and movies, we're jaded enough to see the "surprise -- this one's a bad guy" twists coming, which knocks the legs out from under the story.

C+

Bay of Angels (1964)

Despite Jean's disinterest in gambling, when his friend wins enough money on roulette to buy a car, Jean decides to tag along with him to the casino. He's quickly addicted and decides to go to enjoy his new hobby during a week off of work. 

Soon he's hooked up with Jackie, a woman who's sacrificed her marriage and young son to roulette. Jean and Jackie win a ton and live the high life only to lose it all and head back to the cheaper parts of town. And that's about it.

C

Synchronic (2020)

An EMT team begins to respond to calls in which the victim has taken a designer drug and the injuries suffered are hard to explain. Then one of them is diagnosed with a brain tumor while the other has his college-age daughter go missing. By the time the truly nifty part of the story comes along, we're more than halfway through -- and that's the problem here. They take too long to get to the "whoa" part, which makes the back half feel really rushed.

Still, it's a truly interesting idea: a drug that allows you to travel to the past for a limited amount of time -- but only if you're young enough (or sick enough, like with a brain tumor) that a certain portion of your brain isn't yet calcified. 

C+

The Grudge (2004)

Evil house in Tokyo infects everyone who enters it with its evil. So that sucks for Karen, an American home health care aide filling in for the one who just went missing while working in that house. It's the same thing over and over & the explanation is dissatisfying, to say the least.

D+

Raw (2017)

The story in a nutshell: Justine, who has been raised vegetarian, is headed to veterinary school, where her sister has been attending for a year already. After she eats a raw rabbit kidney during hazing, she just can't get enough meat -- especially human meat. She soon finds out that her sister has similar cravings. OK. So that's supposed to be the disturbing stuff. But, honestly, the most horrific portions of this film were:

• the over-the-top hell week for freshmen. Why?? I get being hazed when you join a fraternity -- I don't like it, but it's still a choice that's being made. If you don't want the hazing, don't join. But everyone who wants to have a career in animal medicine being subjected to constant humiliation and danger was downright insanity.
• two words: eye lick

Just because you can think up a big ol' pile of "what the hell" doesn't mean you should write a screenplay.

D

Dream Horse (2021)

A woman in an economically depressed Welsh town decides to breed a racehorse and convinces others in the community to chip in. It's an undeniably feel-good charmer. That said, if you're only interested it hearing the story once, I'd recommend watching Dark Horse. Because it's a true story, the well-done documentary version comes out a little bit ahead, as long as you watch with the subtitles on. 

B

Whisky (2005)

Jacobo owns a rundown sock factory, which Marta manages for him. When his rich brother Herman decides to come visit, Jacobo asks Marta to play house with him so that his brother won't know what a sad little life he's living (apparently). During the visit and the subsequent impromptu holiday on the coast, Marta begins to blossom.

I had to infer a lot of meaning here because nothing was spelled out, which is usually alright right with me. But here, I wasn't sure if I was missing nuance since I don't speak the language or if their activities were "normal" for the area, but a lot of the happenings completely confused me.

Overall, I believe this is a story of two people going through the motions -- one by choice and one because she didn't know there was a choice.

B-

Some Kind of Heaven (2021)

Florida is home to the largest retirement community in America: The Villages. It's a self-contained "city" with more than 100,000 residents and, as some of them say, you never have to leave. It's got restaurants, grocery stores, pools, and non-stop activities of all kinds. We spend time with four of the people who live there. Reggie has discovered the wonders of drugs, which is stressful for his loyal wife Anne and which is landing him in legal trouble. Dennis isn't actually a resident: he's living in his van on the property hoping to land a sugar mama. Lynn is smart but very lonely and is one of the few residents who still has a full-time job.

I was very interested when the film began: an entire community of seniors who are busy enjoying their golden years? Cool! So I was disappointed that we didn't get to spend much time with one of the happy ones. I get that this was probably intended as a look beneath the glossy promise of The Villages, but a little relief would've been very welcome.

C