Valley Girl (1983)

Julie lives in the -- apparently preppy/safe -- Valley while Randy's from rough and punky Hollywood. But they're drawn to each other despite the fact that none of Julie's friends get it. It's Romeo & Juliet with super low stakes and a super thin plot. The only laughs I got were from Julie's aging hippy parents.

Also, what the heck is going on with this poster? It's like it was designed by someone who wasn't allowed to see the actual film (or the actual actress) so just guessed it might be something like Grease.

C-

BS High (2023)

Roy Johnson is incompetent and ridiculous and deserving of your derision. But, make no mistake, he's also a deliberate conman and it's a real failing that he's not in prison because he is the very definition of a unrepentant criminal. So much of what he did would be laughable if he hadn't been ruining kids' lives -- financially, scholastically, physically -- in the process. 

Though the documentary is efficiently told and Johnson incriminates himself every time he opens his mouth, I still got sick of watching and listening to him way before it was over.

B-

Isle of Dogs (2018)

After sickness sweeps through the canine population, Japan banishes all dogs to Trash Island. The Mayor's young ward sets off on his own to find his dog and winds up getting help from one of the packs that has formed there.

It's got a great look and is mostly engaging, but felt very repetitive.

C+

Unpregnant (2020)

Missouri teen gets pregnant and needs an abortion, but Missouri requires parental consent for minors. Since her family is super-religious and she doesn't want them to find out, she's forced to make a weekend trip to a state where she can legally obtain an abortion on her own. Because she needs a ride and she also doesn't want her popular friends to tell everyone her business, she has to reach out to an estranged best friend for help.

The message is shoved forward at every opportunity and the script has a few too many silly episodes, but the film succeeds in the casting of its two leads. They're determined and likable and I just couldn't help but root for them. It is worth noting, however, that abortion laws were terrible when this film was shot but they're now even worse and far scarier for every single pregnant woman -- not just those who are minors. In Missouri, it's currently illegal for anyone to get an abortion.

B-

Funny People (2009)

George Simmons -- mega-famous comic actor -- finds out he's sick and hires a fledgling stand-up Ira to serve as his assistant. With Ira's encouragement, George reconnects with his family, shares his diagnosis with friends from whom he'd grown distant, and even rekindles a relationship with "the one who got away."

Basically, it's not what I thought it was going to be: it's got depth. I think it's probably a somewhat honest peek at how easy it is to become isolated in one's own fame and to stop developing as a human once everyone's eager to get on your good side. The runtime is bloated, though.

B+

Lies My Father Told Me (1975)

David is growing up in a small household with his longsuffering mother, his serial-inventor father, and his beloved Grandfather "Zaida." David's favorite activity is spending the day with Zaida on his junk wagon, calling for rags, clothes and bottles (but they'll really take anything that can be sold or recycled).Their home is within a small community where everyone knows each other and is all up in one another's business.

It's a loud, messy movie that should've been charming, but it's sunk by the child playing David. He's SO BAD at acting and the entire film is on his shoulders.

C

Fast X (2023)

The first couple of action scenes are kind of cool: cars dragging a huge vault through the streets and over a bridge and then a huge bomb rolling through the streets of Rome. Jason Momoa's villain was also sorta fun until we find out he treats corpses like life-size dolls. 

But really, it's just so tiresome now. The comedic shtick is played out. The fights feel perfunctory. The body count is literally laughable, if we're taking Little Brian's joy at personally blowing up baddies as any indication. The fact that this movie ends on a cliffhanger just made me tired. I'm assuming the abrupt end means that (SPOILER ALERT) most of the "family" didn't actually die in an aerial explosion? Because if the only family left are the most boring members (Dom, Letty and Little B), there'll be even bigger issues with the next installment.

D

Renfield (2023)

Renfield has been Dracula's familiar for centuries, but is just starting to understand (through a support group for co-dependents) how much he needs to change that. With the help of an incorruptible cop, he might just have a prayer of getting out.

This was truly funny with some hilariously over-the-top fight scenes. Nicholas Hoult, Awkwafina, Ben Schwartz and Nicolas Cage are all having a blast and we're the beneficiaries.

B

Dive (2022)

First, apart from the meat of the story, this was a really interesting peek into what's involved in diving. I had no idea of the training that takes place outside of the pool, but it made total sense once I saw it.

As for the story itself: Mariel is training with a new partner for what will likely be her last Olympic appearance. When her coach is accused of sexual abuse, it throws the team into chaos. This is fictionalized but based on actual events and it's incredibly well done. It's a clear-eyed look at how a victim could mistake molestation for being "chosen" and how responsible adults could miss signs of abuse by assuming anything that feels "off" is just necessary closeness between coach and athlete.

Also, Karla Souza in the lead role is truly amazing.

B+

Summerland (2020)

Alice, whom the area children believe to be a witch due to her loner lifestyle and perma-scowl, has to take in London evacuee Frank during World War II. Frank manages to keep his spirits up despite Alice's frostiness, which begins to melt a bit as their time together wears on. Flashbacks inform us about the source of Alice's heartbreak years before, which helps us root for them both.

A really lovely story, simply told.

B

Weird: The Al Yankovic Story (2022)

Yankovic's biopic is to other biopics what Yankovic's songs are to other songs: a goof on them. Surprisingly, it works really well and I think a lot of the credit for that goes to Radcliffe in the lead, with Evan Rachel Wood solid as Madonna.

It's silly, hilarious, kinda dumb, and -- honestly -- gets old after a while. If it had been cut down to a lean 90 minutes, this could've been superb.

B-

To All the Boys: Always and Forever (2021)

There's a lot of change in the air this time around: Kitty's got a boyfriend, Dad's getting married again, and Lara Jean is a high-school senior. Since Peter's secured a scholarship to Stanford, they're banking on LJ getting in there too but best-laid plans often go awry -- both for reasons out of one's control and due to factors not previously considered.

This is the best of the trio, in my opinion. LJ and Peter are still teens so it's difficult for them to see beyond the "now," but I really appreciate the acknowledgement that things might end. Lara Jean and Peter both make decisions that are best for them and that's about the healthiest thing a romantic teen can see.

B

Holy Spider (2022)

Loosely based on the "Spider Killer" who murdered prostitutes in Mashhad, Iran in 2000 and 2001 for the supposed reason of cleansing the holy city of corrupt women. Of course, the corrupt men who patronize the prostitutes need not be punished. The script conjures a female journalist who solves the case despite facing prejudice along the way.

My father was full-blooded Iranian and I saw his brand of dominance toward those smaller/weaker while rolling over for powerful men in the killer. This connection made it impossible for me to be sure I'm judging this movie on its own merits -- I just know I really disliked it. I am on the record for other "based on fact" films that do what this one did, though: showing us scenes that are entirely fabricated while purporting to be true (e.g. Saeed getting turned on by a corpse he'd just strangled).

D+

Halftime (2022)

I know very little about Jennifer Lopez. I've always considered her a mediocre talent I think, mainly, because I don't listen to her music or care about dance, which means that I know her for her acting. This documentary definitely showed me how hard she works and how much representation is at the front of her mind. No doubt she's impressive.

But it's quite obvious that this is an advertisement for the J-Lo brand rather than a true peek at who she is. If you need proof of this, just ask yourself where A-Rod is.

C+

City of Angels (1998)

When I first saw this film I was an entirely different person. But, somehow, this movie still resonates for me in the same way it did back then. It's utterly dreamy and romantic and heartbreaking. I've seen Wings of Desire and do truly love it and I get that this shouldn't hold a candle: it's a little too "cleaned-up" somehow. But what gives this the edge over the original, for me, is the magic of Cage and Ryan. I felt their love in a way that wasn't generated by the couple in the earlier film.

I remember actually getting into a bizarre argument about this movie during a discussion at church. I can't remember why the film came up, but the immediate reaction from one of the men in the group was something along the lines of "I hate that movie. Angels have everything we're striving to get and it's ridiculous that one would throw that away for earthly pleasures." I, of course, disagreed heartily and I think God would too! After all, receiving love that is given by choice is the most amazing experience. This world may not be perfect, but free will that results in generosity of the heart? That's divine.

A

No Exit (2022)

Darby, an addict in a rehab facility, breaks out when she hears her mother is in the hospital. A blizzard forces her to wait it out at a rest stop along with four others. When she discovers an abducted child in one of the vehicles, Darby has to figure out whom to trust.

It's a decent set-up and most of the acting is fine, but it also feels very cheap and rather threadbare as far as plot goes.

C

Faithfully Yours (2023)

Two friends leave their husbands at home while they take a "cultural weekend" away. What they're actually doing (and what they've done many times before) is providing each other an alibi while they party. When the weekend turns deadly, lies are exposed and suspicions run rampant.

Though it all made sense in the end, the red herring-count got into "whoa -- that's too many" territory.

C+