False Positive (2021)

After trying to get pregnant for a couple of years, Lucy and doctor husband Adrian decide to reach out to Dr. Hindle, a mentor of his who has had great success in the fertility field. Lucy is almost immediately pregnant with triplets and faced with a "selective reduction" choice to ensure success: either terminate the female or the two boys (who share a sac). Though it's against the doctor's recommendation, the couple decides to move forward with the female.

And then things get silly. It felt like a dumb Rosemary's Baby -- everyone, including Adrian, has an agenda to which Lucy isn't privy. She joins a mommy group and makes a friend (or does she?), gets obsessed with a magical negro midwife (or does she?), gets passed over to run a project she landed at work, finds proof that she's under surveillance (or is she?) and imagines that her husband and Hindle are having a torrid affair (eh... probably not). There's a weirdly Stepfordish nurse who is both the chipper "You've got this" support for Lucy as well as a menacing presence who isn't above coming to Lucy's workplace. Is it "mommy brain" as is suggested on repeat or something more nefarious?

Felt like a waste of time. This has all been handled better in other films. And the "payoff" here is both a letdown and a huge dose of wtf.

D+

Kind Lady (1951)

Mrs. Herries, a rich woman with a tender heart, takes an interest in struggling artist Henry Elcott. When his wife collapses outside of Mrs. Herries's home, she is immediately invited to convalesce in one of the spare rooms. And that's all Elcott needs to make himself at home and for Mrs. Herries to understand the dangerous situation she's now in.

The tone of the film is perfect: at first it feels like it might be a heartwarming Christmas film. Everything's right in this woman's world -- she's loved and respected. But, once it's suggested that her mind is no longer her own? Arguments or screams to the contrary just seem to prove the allegation all the more. Even those who knew her well can only shake their head in sad acceptance. Nasty little story, but it's well-told and got to me.

B-

House (1977)

Its bizarre factor makes it tempting to give this a higher grade than it deserves. But, since it could've easily been made by a few of 8th graders with a camera and buckets of technicolor fake blood, I won't pretend.

After a group of girls have their holiday plans fall through, Gorgeous offers her auntie's house as an option. See, she's upset that her father is remarrying -- never mind that she's only met her aunt once when she was a child -- and wants to get away. The friends' names are a little bit of ridiculousness of their own: Gorgeous (she's pretty!), Fantasy (she daydreams!), Prof (she wears glasses!), Melody (she likes music!), Kung Fu (she's sporty!), Mac (she likes to eat and everyone keeps pretending she's fat but she's really NOT!), and Sweet (she's... sweet, I guess). Welp, Auntie says to come on ahead and so they do.

The Aunt has apparently turned evil because her boyfriend didn't return from the war like he promised he would decades before. Her house and cat are also evil. Together (but mostly the house), they take down the girls one by one because eating unmarried girls is their passion. I don't know. It's so aggressively mad I can't even beLIEVE that a movie this fantastically insane exists. I mean wowza.

F

Laura (1944)

When Laura is shot dead in her apartment, Detective Mark McPherson launches a no-nonsense investigation. Trouble is, her friend Waldo and fiancé Shelby feed him constant nonsense as he attempts to piece together what happened and why. We meet the lovely Laura in flashbacks from both of their perspectives and, along with Mark, can't help but fall a little bit in love.

I've seen this several times over the last 35 years or so and enjoy it every single time.

B+

Final Prayer (2015)

I really didn't like this movie. It felt like every common complaint lodged against found footage movies bundled together and put on repeat. It's got everything:

• Flashlights that illuminate approximately 2 inches at a time
• Nauseatingly shaky camera work
• Unhelpful locals
• Vague religious/occult tone
• Dysfunctional group consisting of:

          * Idiot who regularly jeopardizes the mission due to ignorance
          * Superior know-it-all who is quickly in over their head
          * The one who "gets it" and behaves like a rational adult

I did wonder if this was where the idea for the (truly entertaining) TV show "Evil" came from, since it features a team employed by the Catholic church that validates or debunks reported miracles, possessions, and such. Or is this an actual "thing"?

D

Weapons (2025)

All of the students from an elementary school class -- except one -- run away during the night and have been missing for weeks. The police are stymied and tension in the town is high. Though, honestly, not nearly so high as I'd expect it to be. The classroom's teacher is an obvious target of suspicion and it's a nice touch that she's kinda messy. The shifting perspectives going over some of the same beats was an effective way to tell the story. 

But, nearly the entire time, I was frustrated by the laziness of the investigation. I mean, why on earth did it take so long for the idea to triangulate the children's destination from the trajectories recorded on ring cams to come up? And why was it a parent rather than a detective who figured that out? Also, a voiceover explaining that it was all covered up doesn't suffice, since the families SHOULD'VE been screaming about it non-stop. 

In the end, it was too big of an ask to suspend disbelief. Maybe it would've worked a bit better if we would've seen some kind of spell being cast over the parents/cops to explain why only a couple of people seemed to be interested in solving the case? 

C+

Abigail (2024)

One of those criminal groups who've never met & have code names are hired to snatch the 12-year-old daughter of some ultra-rich guy and hold her for ransom. They're holing up in a remote mansion without phones (to prevent tracking) for 24 hours, but it's worth it for the life-changing payday. Of course, things start to go wrong almost immediately.

This manages to be a really effective horror comedy, despite the fact that it was easy to guess the twist from the trailer/press materials. It seems perfectly set up for a sequel, and I look forward to seeing it, should there be one!

B

Night Watch (1973)

Ellen lives a comfortable life in an enviable home with her successful husband. On a rainy night, she claims to have seen a bloody corpse through the window of the boarded-up house next door. The cops, her husband, and the friend who's visiting all take it seriously, but no evidence of a body is found. Her continued insistence as well as her new reports of suspicious goings-on make her a bit of a joke to the police and begin to worry her husband and friend.

This is a surprisingly effective mystery with an ending I didn't see coming. Somehow, though, it feels a bit cheap, like an old network movie-of-the-week.

C+

Saint Maud (2021)

Maud feels certain that God has big plans for her and is having trouble seeing his hand in her current situation. She's starting a position as a live-in palliative care nurse for Amanda, a former dancer, and slowly comes to believe that this woman might be her mission. Amanda herself seems open to Maud's message, going so far as to refer to Maud as her "saviour." 

I was so impressed with the suffocating tone here. A few times, Maud's eyes or mouth would open just a little wider than should be possible, but the moment was so fleeting that I could never be sure if I was imposing my own dread onto the image. I was put in mind of Rosemary's Baby and Servant -- is this madness or divine? Wonderfully scary.

B+

Europa Report (2013)

A 6-person crew sets off for Europa, one of Jupiter's moons, in hopes of finding the life there that research indicates exists. The crew loses touch with earth less than 6 months in, but the voyage itself is fairly mundane. Even the loss of a crew member along the way is a quietly sad accident rather than a bombastic set piece, which was extremely effective. These are people doing their jobs well and dealing with issues as they come up without falling apart or lashing out.

But maybe realism just isn't enough. While I did appreciate that these were adults who always put the mission first, I was also left wondering what the purpose of the movie was. I was hoping for something more thrilling.

B-

The Craft (1996)

Three friends -- social outcasts due to their interest in witchcraft -- identify the new girl as a possible "fourth" for their coven. After initially rejecting their overture, Sarah dives in and proves more adept at spells than the others. But Nancy (the leader of the crew) isn't interested in the small stakes spells that her friends consider important and she has no hesitation mowing down people in her way.

This isn't bad, but it's a bit too thin to be much more than a fun scary movie for slumber parties. Basically, it's the kind of horror that is unlikely to give a teen nightmares.

C+

Butterfly Kisses (2018)

Amateur documentarians decide to look into a local bogeyman. Legend has it that if you stare through a railroad bridge for a full hour without blinking, he'll appear at the far end. Then, every time you blink, he'll get a little bit closer until he's near enough to your face to tickle you with his eyelashes. 

Despite the fantastically natural "people on the street" interviews that sell us on the idea and the meta commentary about found footage/the convenience of the tapes falling into the hands of another filmmaker, there isn't enough here to keep it interesting through to the end. It leaves too many questions while also generating too little interest for me to really mind.

D

Tragedy Girls (2017)

Best friends with a website dedicated to violent crimes are desperate to have their site hit it big. When a serial killer finally takes their "teens making out in a car" bait, they take him hostage and take over. They kill exes, rivals, and basically anyone who pulls focus from their site. They don't seem to be emotionally tied to anyone other than each other and are unaffected by the horrors they're wreaking. 

I don't know what this is saying. We never feel connected to these sociopaths and it isn't frightening, but neither does it come off as a successful satire. I give it props for the interesting idea, but it ultimately goes nowhere and has zero effect.

C-

Double Indemnity (1944)

Walter Neff is the top selling insurance agent at his firm, which also employs a crack claims adjuster who always sees through attempted fraud. But when Neff meets Phyllis, his good sense goes out the window and he's soon embroiled in a scheme to get her out of her marriage and into a pile of money.

It's one of those stories that starts at the end and then flashes back to fill in the details, so we're aware from the outset that the plan doesn't work out for Walter and Phyllis. But, boy, it's good fun watching it go wrong. It did take a little bit to get used to Fred MacMurray as a hard-boiled type delivering worldly quips every time he opened his mouth, but he makes it work.

Definitely a noir touchstone.

B+

Clueless (1995)

Cher is a spoiled rich girl living in a mansion and attending school with a lot of other spoiled rich kids. But, unlike so many who have so much, she's not a mean girl. For example, when she sees the awkward new kid at school, her instinct is to extend the help she perceives is needed (makeover/boyfriend) rather than to shun her. Despite her desire to be a good person, her lack of knowledge of what goes on outside her bubble is a hindrance, so it's a good thing her stepbrother Josh is always around to keep her head from getting too big!

I really liked this when I first saw it 35 years ago (when I was still in my 20s). Though it doesn't entirely hold up, it's still pretty sweet and worth a watch.

C+

Late Night with the Devil (2024)

The "documentary" intro to the film does a lot of the heavy lifting, briefing us on talk show host Jack Delroy who, though popular, has never managed to land the top spot. He lost his beloved wife to lung cancer (though she'd never smoked) and, about a year later, his ratings have gotten extremely low. There's also some info about a secret society that breeds children to sacrifice. For Halloween 1977 -- during sweeps week -- Delroy's show "Night Owls" decided to embrace the season by booking a medium, a skeptic, and a girl rescued from the secret society who claims to be possessed by a demon. What follows is the tape of that episode, not shown since 1977.

This is an absorbing and effective low-budget horror film with David Dastmalchian (Delroy) and Ingrid Torelli (as the possessed Lilly) turning in particularly good performances. Though it can't help but kind of peter out at the end, I was pretty impressed.

B-

Don't Move (2024)

Bereft mother is considering ending it all from the same hiking trail cliff that took her son, when a stranger arrives and calmly talks her out of it. We soon find out that his motives are more opportunistic than altruistic; too bad for him he did such a good job of convincing her not to give in to the call of death that day.

This is how I like my horror: more psychological than graphic and not trying to be more than it should be. Just scare me without insulting my intelligence, then get off my screen.

B

Klute (1971)

Six months after a friend goes missing, private detective John Klute travels to New York to dig into the only clue: an obscene letter written to Bree, a prostitute who lives there. Though very good at her job, Bree is actively trying to quit what she considers a problematic compulsion, pursuing an acting career instead. Klute, despite an almost complete lack of charm, convinces her to help and they eventually begin an affair.

At the risk of sounding prudish, the "underbelly" vibe of this movie was offputting -- like, how do people live like this? What are they getting from it? There were also a few too many times that I was confused about what, exactly, was going on. But the acting is good and the story was interesting if a tad predictable.

B-