Gloria (1980)

Mob accountant turns snitch and gets his family whacked, but not before they shoo their young son off with a neighbor. The neighbor is pretty mobbed up herself, but grudgingly starts to feel responsible for and affectionate toward the kid. The kid takes a little while longer to warm up, but when he does it borders on inappropriate (at one point, I’m pretty sure he was propositioning the 40ish Gloria in a flophouse bed).

Just an OK movie that could’ve been pretty good if anyone other than Rowlands as Gloria could act in the thing.

C+

The Shining (1980)

Oh my gosh. Is this what passed for critically-acclaimed back in the day? I was watching it with my younger son and I actually felt embarrassed -- worried that somehow I was giving him permission to dismiss the films of my youth as wastes of time (thankfully The Empire Strikes Back came out the same year, so he knows he can't do that). I can't imagine how Stanley Kubrick must feel about it...I was cringing at it wasn't even my fault.

Shelly Duvall, in particular, was hysterical -- especially at the end when she's running around with a knife, as though she's a marionette being controlled by someone having a seizure. Don't even get me started on the horrendously annoying score.

D-

Altered States (1980)

Ridiculously weird movie about an anti-social researcher into altered states of consciousness, achieved first through isolation tank experiments, then drugs, then isolation experiments AND drugs: the magic combination!

Somehow he's able to access eons-old memories and become a prehistoric monkey-man before he's pulled back from the brink by loooooove. I didn't really get it and I didn't really care. It's so, so tedious and talky.

D+

My Bodyguard (1980)

Clean-cut kid Clifford Peach is the new boy at a rougher-than-he's-used-to school. He doesn't know the rules and quickly runs into trouble with the classroom bully and his toadies. But there's one mysterious student in the class that even the bullies fear...can the clean-cut kid work out some kind of a deal? What do you think?

It's not bad -- but the style is undeniably '80s, complete with smiling montage of silent motorcycle joyriding (preceded by a weird slo-mo joy dance when the right part is found to fix the bike). Also, we spend a lot of time at Clifford's "home": an upscale hotel managed by his father. His randy grandmother lives with them (mom's dead, I think) and she's always causing problems by hitting on every guy in the bar. Also, dad's being watched by the second-in-command who'd love to see him fired. That stuff is kind of interesting, but it doesn't feel like it fits with the school half of the film. Sure, our situation at home might not always reflect in our situation in public, but if that's the point they're making, it wasn't very clear.

The coolest thing about this movie is seeing early roles of the oh-so-young Matt Dillon, Joan Cusack, and Adam Baldwin.

B-

Brubaker (1980)

Robert Redford is Brubaker, a new inmate at the horrible-in-every-way Wakefield Prison. The food is full of maggots, the building is falling down, the fellow prisoners are a constant threat, and the guards are even worse. Brubaker is sharp -- he quickly learns who's got the power, how the system works, and how to survive in the place. And then Brubaker reveals that he's not inmate Brubaker, but warden Brubaker -- the guy who's a-gonna clean up this here mess.

The thing is, I've seen it all before. It's not the film's fault, but it's lost the power I'm sure it had (especially as the story's based in fact) during its theatrical run 25+ years ago. The performances are strong but, sadly, the horror in the prison just isn't that shocking to the jaded residents of the 21st century. People in prison are bad -- and those in charge of keeping them there are usually pretty bad too. I learned that from Shawshank.

B-

The Changeling (1980)

George C. Scott loses his wife and daughter in a tragic accident and decides to start fresh somewhere new. He takes a job in a different city and moves into a furnished estate that, for some reason, has stood empty for more than a decade.

The first half creates a sense of dread -- it's genuinely creepy and so different from other horror movies which depend so heavily on jump scenes. Our "hero" isn't scared so much as inquisitive and that's a novel approach. It's also an approach that begins to feel rather clinical. If he's not nervous and he's right there, why on earth should I be nervous sitting on my couch watching him? Also, the movie kind of breaks down at the end. The climax made no sense to me. Basically, if revenge was the thing and the ghost was able to apply it at will across miles, why hadn't he done so long ago?

C

My Brilliant Career (1980)

Judy Davis is a young lady in a poor family who's not willing to be forced into the life set before her. What an interesting invention she is: she's unhappy with her plainness, yet uninterested in hooking a husband. She's got grand ambitions, but she's also got a heart and it can be broken.

Though the ending wasn't the one I wanted -- I was satisfied by the fact that it was the only true ending.

Loved this one.

A-

Alligator (1980)

Forster & Riker are good. Either no one else was trying or they spent all the money on the gator and had nothing left over to pay other actors.

C

Inside Moves (1980)

Charming story of a man, gimpy after a failed suicide attempt, finding a place where he's needed. A true feel-good film.

B-

Fame (1980)

The "Audition" act is the best, most alive portion of the entire film. The rest is diverting, but rather flat. Too many students to really feel deeply about any of them. Paul McCrane is the lone standout.

C+

The Stunt Man (1980)

I hate being confused…and I loathe films that take pleasure in deliberate confusion. There were some clever moments in this -- but the first hour or so was a perpetual nightmare impossible to unravel.

C-

Tess (1980)

Overlong, but surprisingly interesting. The big problem is that Polanski cast Kinski as an English peasant...with a decidedly German accent. Come on! And she also lacks all trace of personality – a marionette could have filled in for her admirably. One has to wonder if this film would have been made had Polanski not received the book from his soon-to-be-murdered wife, Sharon Tate, at their last meeting.

C

Gates of Heaven (1980)

Supposedly about pet cemetery patrons, but veers off into the boring, petty lives of the cemetery owners. Maybe if I believed in a doggie heaven I'd be more into these pathetic stories...but I seriously doubt it.

I'll just go on record as saying that I think Morris lucked out on "The Thin Blue Line." He has no concept of the difference between "interesting" and "mind-bogglingly boring," choosing static shots of nonsensical images to focus on at length, often with no dialogue to soften the stare-time. Ugh.

D