Star Trek: Generations (1994)

Captain Kirk and Picard get together after meeting in "the ribbon": a utopia where time doesn't exist. Picard is trying to enlist Kirk's help in stopping Soran, a scientist who's been trying to get back to the ribbon for decades. See, the Enterprise -- via Kirk's heroic sacrifice -- pulled him and many others out of the ribbon in order to save their lives and Soran's so desperate to get back that he'll destroy a populated planet to do so.

It's pretty much just an extended episode of TNG, but with short shrift given to most of the crew in favor of time with Kirk and Soran. Oh, and Data has feelings and a new complexion now.

C

Drop Zone (1994)

A pair of US Marshals (who happen to be brothers for no reason at all) are transporting an important witness/criminal hacker by plane to a more secure location. While in flight, a hole is blown in the side of the plane and the witness is presumed to be among the casualties, as is one of the Marshals. But the surviving Marshal Pete believes that the witness is still alive and has been snatched by the parachuting attackers.

It never gets any more sane which, honestly, is probably the right call here. If you're trying to make a serious movie about a ring of parachuting criminals, you just might be delusional.

C-

Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)

Gary and I saw this during its initial run and I remember laughing so hard that I nearly fell out of my seat. Was it mass hysteria? Was I feeding off the crowd and they from me? It's definitely still charming and earns a few chuckles, but the jokes now feel rather obvious. Perhaps it's just been copied to death and simply cannot evoke the surprised belly laughs it once did.

Two things have not changed: the way that the reading of W.H. Auden's "Funeral Blues" gets the tears flowing every single time and the wretchedness of MacDowell's acting.

B

The Ref (1994)

Burglar trips an alarm at a house in a small community, which scares his getaway driver into taking off. To get off the streets quickly, the burglar forces a couple to drive him to their house until he can sort out what to do. Problem is, the couple is so dysfunctional that they even bicker through their abduction.

I'd seen this more than 25 years ago and rated it low, but have since read enough praise for it that I thought it was worth another watch. What I found out is that I can trust my old reviews! This isn't funny, it's just annoying.

C

The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (1994)

Three Australian drag queens hit the road in an old greyhound-type bus for a gig several days of driving away. There's the seen-it-all aging diva, the seasoned pro with more baggage than he lets on, and the young whippersnapper. They bicker, they turn a backwater town on its head, the bus breaks down, etc.

But there's a problem: it just doesn't ever truly let loose. Nothing's as funny as I wanted it to be and the shenanigans felt strictly PG-13 (ping pong ball scene being the notable exception).

C

Pulp Fiction (1994)

When this movie came out, I became a little missionary for it -- dragging friends and (in a couple of instances) bare acquaintances to see it. It shocked me in the best of ways. It was, quite simply, the most exciting thing I'd ever seen in a theater. When Forrest Gump took the Oscar, my faith in Hollywood was tested for the first time (hey -- I was young).

So, by now, I've seen it at least 7 times...I'd guess it as closer to 11 though. I showed it to my younger son and, while he liked it, he was not wowed. I had to point out all of the stuff that he'd "seen before" started right here in Tarantino's masterpiece, a label I truly believe it deserves. Yeah, there are a couple of sequences that feel slower than I remember them (Marsellus lecturing Butch in the bar & Walken's very funny but too long monologue regarding the very uncomfortable piece of metal) but it still works wonderfully.

The cast is perfect. The dialogue is still wonderful. It's earned its place as a touchstone of cinema.

A

Speed (1994)

Third viewing - this time with my younger son, AJ. He loved it, as I predicted (2 for 2!).

For me, though, this time through felt quite a bit more bloated than I remembered. Everything on the bus is terrific. But it takes a little longer than necessary to get there...and, once we disembarked, the movie just refused to end.

Still worth the watch, but I don't think I'll be indulging in a fourth.

B

Ready to Wear (1994)

It's an "everyone's a winner!" situation when trying to figure out which of the performances was the worst, but I think the prize would have to go to Kim Basinger: she was the most unconvincing out of at least a dozen ill-conceived efforts.

Truth be told, I feel a little mean pointing out poor acting when the material itself was completely stupid. As a whole, it was a boring, wandering, absolute MESS. This would be the "leave off my résumé" project if I were in any way involved.

I'm also pretty sure that there was a "no second takes" policy on the set. Every single scene seemed like a trial run of ad-libbing -- I really don't think any bit worked. And whose stupid idea was the running-gag of stepping in dog shit? It didn't make any sense at all.

In case it's not clear: I hated this movie.

F

Spanking the Monkey (1994)

I remember one summer when I decided to stay in my college town rather than going back to Florida. My father told me angrily over the phone that I didn't have a choice in the matter...that I WAS going to come home. But I understood the rules even if my father needed them explained: older than 18 and out of the house means that I can respect my father without necessarily obeying him.

So I was pretty confused about why in the world the college kid in this film (Ray) would put up with the tonnage of crap that he does. The movie opens with him heading home from MIT expecting to quickly leave again for a prestigious summer internship with the Surgeon General...but his mother has a broken leg and needs care and his dad's going on the road so he's stuck with the job.

Now, caring for your broken-legged mother when you could be advancing your career is annoying...but that's just the very least of this kid's troubles. I did feel the "trapped" vibe that was emanating from the lead, but I couldn't help just wanting to slap him. Hard. Get the hell out of the bad situation! Don't stay there all whiny and pathetic! You're obviously smart...so apply those brains.

I mean, what the heck did I just watch? This is one of the few movies that made me physically shudder.

C-

The Santa Clause (1994)

I love Christmas movies, so I may be a bit softer on this one than it truly deserves. It just works for me. I especially like the scenes in which Allen is adjusting to his new life…trying to reconcile the magical with the regular… the scenes at the North Pole seem like filler in comparison. Great Christmas movie to play "in the background" while decorating or popping cookies in and out of the oven.

B

Serial Mom (1994)

This is one hella-stupid movie. Coulda been campy fun, but it's handled in what seems to be a deliberately over-the-top soap opera way. Felt third-rate.

D

Don't Drink the Water (1994)

Everyone seems to be trying to achieve a tone of manic screwball – but despite valiant effort, failing. Often, the actors seem to have just been thrown together and told to improvise (and, of course, some aren't all that great at it). Still, the laughs are there if you look and Dom Deluise's magician-priest cracks me up.

B

Cops and Robbersons (1994)

They should have pumped up the comedy so that it would be noticeable. I felt like I had to work a little too hard to find the laughs and way too hard to hear Palance's lines. OK for a one-time-only viewing.

C-

It Could Happen to You (1994)

Better than I remembered, but still on the "thumbs-down" side. It's sloppy in the "Mannequin" way and full of obvious situations with no character shadings. Fonda pulls off the interesting combo of bland & endearing. Perez is one-note...hell – everyone's one-note in this movie.

C

What Happened Was... (1994)

I've been in some pretty uncomfortable situations. There was one time I wanted to escape my present company so desperately that I pretended my water broke (amazing they bought it, as I was only five months pregnant). But nothing compares to the painful evening the couple in this film endure. It's almost voyeuristic as we observe, in real time, the lulls in conversation, forced laughter, and embarrassing confessions of these two losers.

Two things that are praiseworthy: 1) Tom Noonan, who plays Michael (and is also the director and writer) is completely believable in his role, and 2) the movie's pretty short.

One more thing - I've seen, read, and dreamt a whole lotta of scary things in my life, but apparently I'm a nightmare lightweight compared to the stuff going on in Noonan's mind. The segment where Jackie reads her "children's story" aloud is, quite possibly, the most disturbing sequence on film.

D+