Suspiria (1977)

This movie has been on so many "Top Horror Movies of All-Time" and "Best Cult Films Ever" lists that I couldn't wait to see it. So, to all those who have hyped this movie to high heaven, I say to you: What. The. Hell.

Apparently I'm supposed to be blown away by the sets and the lighting...but, dude, if you don't have a story to go WITH that stuff, you're in the wrong field. Pull out your Nikon, publish a coffee table book, and leave the moving pictures to someone else.

It's not scary. It's not beautiful. It's not cool. It's not well-acted. It's not anything other than a waste of time.

D