The Lake House (2006)

My sister-in-law saw this film in the theater way back in June and said to me, "I didn't get it. But you understand movies, so could you explain it to me?" I hadn't even seen the dang thing yet and I was able to sagely advise her, "you just have to go with it." I mean, duh. A time travel romance is not gonna hang together if you refuse to let it.

So -- I didn't concern myself with the plot holes that would manifest if you look too hard (but if there was no accident, then there was no warning letter, and no meeting...), I mean, I've played Majora's Mask, so no problem. What did bother me was the fact that the only reason future girl was interested in past boy and vice versa was because of the magic. Once they're living in same space and time, I give 'em six months tops.

C+

Hard Candy (2006)

This is a film I was sorta nervous about seeing. I knew the subject was chat room predators and that's scary territory for the mother of two young teens. But I needn't have been fearful on behalf of the teen at the center of this situation.

It's obvious quite early in that Hayley's not as wide-eyed as her appearance would suggest. I'm a fan of righteous vigilantism (in movies, anyway), so I was pretty on-board with the happenings here. Sure it's uncomfortable at times, but the tension is seriously diminished when the bad things are happening to bad people.

There was a point when I was a bit lost as to the purpose of the psychological aspect of the afternoon, but I chalked it up to the propensity for drama in young girls. Only at the end do the reasons why surface. For me, I felt a suspension of disbelief was necessary...would the plan really have worked? Twice? But the performances are so strong and the story so original, that I didn't mind so much.

B-

Freak City (1999)

Ruth, a young woman in a wheelchair due to Multiple Sclerosis, loses her grandmother/caretaker and gets shoved into a nursing home by her aunt.

This is one weird home -- there's a guy with no other apparent problem other than blindness, some only slightly mentally impaired inhabitants, senile seniors, a woman who has lost the ability to apply correct words to things (played by Natalie Cole, so you know she'll be able to eventually sing at least), etc. I really didn't get it. Are there really places like this? Where group therapy sessions assume that a paralytic will have the same issues as a retarded woman?

Ruth basically shakes things up by encouraging the other residents, by example, not to resign themselves to wasting away inside the walls of "Freak City." Despite the presence of Peter Sarsgaard, I was not impressed. If you're in the mood for an honest look at people dealing with disabilities, watch The Waterdance.

D

Wild Things (1998)

When the guys in my house go off camping, I stay home and have myself a movie marathon. Since I'd already watched a heist movie (Inside Man) and a romantic drama (The Girl in the Café), I decided to switch it up with some sleazy cheese.

Although I knew nothing about this movie except that the cover shows Neve Campbell & Denise Richards up to their chins in water, Roger Ebert names this a guilty pleasure about which he doesn't feel guilty, and that it features full frontal Kevin Bacon...I've been wanting to see this for a while. It just started feeling like one of those "you haven't seen that?!" films such as Titanic or Schindler's List or...OK... Basic Instinct.

This movie, surprisingly, delivers. Denise Richards employs her weird "woodenly seductive" acting style, but she's surrounded by a story in which that works just fine. There's a lot of lurid stuff packed in here, but it's also clever and sexy and fun. It's entertaining schlock that's a lot smarter than it needed to be.

B

The Girl in the Café (2005)

I think I'm officially a Bill Nighy fan -- he's just so natural no matter what the role: aging rocker (Love Actually), cheating husband (Lawless Heart), or no-nonsense newspaper editor (State of Play). Even if I don't really care for a particular story, I always enjoy him.

I don't need any disclaimer for this movie, as every bit of it's a pleasure to watch. Here, Nighy's a high-ranking civil servant without any social life who just happens upon the equally lonely Kelly Macdonald (lovely) in a crowded café.

This would have been a winner even if it'd have settled for the storyline being just about the gentle romance between the two leads. But it goes further than that and becomes more than a simple delightful diversion.

A

Inside Man (2006)

Is it original? Not really -- but who cares?

I didn't go into this film expecting something totally new or, you know, meaningful. I wanted to see a smart, slick bank heist film and that's what's delivered. I'm not sure every bit of it makes perfect sense, but it does all hang together, the cast is top-notch, and it looks terrific.

Perfect popcorn movie.

B+

Of Human Hearts (1938)

A reverend uproots his family to rural Ohio to serve as the local parson. Once there, they find that the community isn't as generous as they were promised -- a fact that husband and wife take in humble stride, while their son Jason is disgusted.

Jason makes friends with the local boozy doctor (against his father's wishes, natch) and develops an interest in medicine...which, seemingly out of nowhere, translates into disdain for his father's profession in young adulthood. I liked the movie alright, but the messages it "teaches" aren't anything new. Be grateful. Don't be greedy. Make sure those you love know you love them.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

B-

United 93 (2006)

Incredible, matter-of-fact look at the events of September 11, 2001, as occurring from the perspective of air traffic controllers and army personnel at a loss on how to proceed in the absence of authorization from the unavailable/unresponsive Commander in Chief. We also get to see what might have happened during the flight -- some of which was pieced together from phone calls placed by passengers. Of course there's no way to know exactly how it was in 93's cabin, but unlike other films (e.g. "The Perfect Storm"), this one doesn't insult intelligence by creating fictional relationships and adding superfluous cinematic touches.

There's nothing about this production that feels polished. It's a stripped-down "this is how it went" affair. Some of those who were actually working their jobs that day play themselves, so we can bet those scenes, especially, are on-the-money. This story doesn't need any punching-up and I'm glad they didn't try to give it any. Most of the people involved remain anonymous, the story's the important thing here. I couldn't have stomached it any other way.

A

The Island of Lost Souls (1932)

This is the first movie about Dr. Moreau and his obsession with hastening evolution by surgical transforming beasts into men.

I've had Halloween costumes that look better than the experiments do. The interlopers -- shipwrecked guy and the proper girlfriend and captain who come to find him -- are rather stiff. Lota -- the only female experiment, billed as "Panther Woman" in the credits -- is pretty silly.

But even though the production has the feel of a cheap serial, Charles Laughton as Moreau is pretty dang scary and saves this from being a total laugh riot. As he lurked in the shadows hoping to see his creature mate with a human, I was officially creeped out.

C

Max (2002)

John Cusack plays Max Rothman, an upcoming artist who lost his painting arm during the first World War. Those who can't do, teach -- so Max opens a gallery and starts coddling promising artists, one of whom is a young soldier named Adolf Hitler (Noah Taylor).

Adolf is, to put it mildly, a pain in the ass. He doesn't fit in with the others guys in his barracks -- an obvious know-it-all who finds the opinions and behavior of others intolerable. When Max reaches out to him, Hitler is rude even while making it clear that he desires fraternity. As Adolf is waking up to the possibilities of his canvas, the army is trying to wake him up to propaganda. Which path is his calling? Which will he choose?

The basic theme here is "if only Adolf Hitler could've made it as an artist, the Holocaust would never have happened"; kind of a "for want of a nail, the kingdom was lost" thing. But the movie does too good a job portraying Hitler as an extremely insecure man -- lashing out when he felt small (which was almost always). Success in the art world fluctuates. At best, success as a painter would have simply delayed the inevitable.

So -- interesting, though unconvincing, story. I was pretty glad when the movie ended...I couldn't wait to be done with both the foaming-at-the-mouth speechifying of Hitler and the stifling world (extending to his extracurricular sex life) of Rothman.

C+

Shaft (2000)

The central baddie is nothing more than a privileged daddy's boy who's easily bullied by a drug dandy. He's certainly not tough enough to be a nemesis for Shaft.

And where the heck is the SEX? Shaft is about making the ladies happy and the bad guys sorry. Choosing to make the opening credits the only instance of any bedroom action is ridiculous.

They really got this one wrong.

C-

Love Letters (1945)

A soldier writes letters for a playboy Cyrano-style and falls for the recipient when he reads her replies. But he's gone and made her fall in love with the playboy, so that sucks.

I usually find Jennifer Jones to be rather dull (e.g. Love is a Many Splendored Thing and A Farewell to Arms). She's still kinda blank here, but since she's playing an amnesiac, it works in her favor a bit.

Gets wrapped up a bit too neatly in the end -- not great by any means, but pretty good.

B

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)

I didn't get it. I wanted to get it. I thought I would get it. But I didn't.

I'm sure this is incredibly clever -- supremely funny in a way that those who gobble up blockbuster "comedies" could never appreciate. Unfortunately, the hilarity was just way too subtle for me: a gal who actually likes Bill Murray and Wes Anderson.

Crap -- I'm pretty sure this means I'm out of the cool club, now.

C-

V for Vendetta (2006)

The British public is going cautiously about their business more than a decade after a terrorist attack blindsided them. They've become slaves to a government that protects them by taking away freedoms -- hmmm...sound familiar?

Well, goshdarnit, V's had it up to HERE with the way things are going and decides to do something about it. This dashing vigilante puts on a couple of grand and destructive displays that get folks riled up and ready to follow his lead.

I was thinking "comic book...explosions...eh. I'll watch it with Gary to make him happy." But what a extraordinary surprise this was! Looks great, had something both fantastic and topical to say, acting is flawless -- I'm not sure why I wasn't dying to see this in the first place.

A-