Murmur of the Heart (1972)

This is less a story than a series of vignettes with a throughline.

Laurent's the youngest (14) of three boys in a well-to-do family. His brothers are a bit wild and eager to usher their sibling into manhood, mocking and torturing him along the way, as brothers do. The mother dotes on all three, but especially her little sickly Laurent.

Mom and son wind up spending several weeks at a sanitorium to treat his heart murmur. While there, he begins to see his mother in a new light.

Probably the most disturbing thing about this film is that things which should horrify me seemed rather natural. Most of the time I was watching with my nose wrinkled. I hate that I came away from this feeling like a prude, even though I knew what I was seeing. It wasn't beautiful or inevitable, despite the attempt to make it seem so.

C

The Island (2005)

Super first half. Most of the world's population has been wiped out by some catastrophe and the survivors are living in a sterile environment where every facet of their lives are controlled and observed. For example, the first pee of the morning is immediately analyzed and diet adjusted accordingly. Everyone hopes they'll win the periodic "lottery," which whisks the winner away to the Island -- the last open-air, unaffected place on earth. And then, halfway through, it turns into an OK-but-usually-unbelievable action movie.

It's definitely watchable, but I got a little tired of wondering "how in the world could anyone survive that?"

B-

High School Musical (2006)

I'm not ashamed to admit that I watched this movie twice in two days and rewound and watched the "Stick to the Status Quo" number probably a dozen times. It made me happy!

The one drawback was the lead actress who was all-too-conscious of how gosh-durn adorable she was. Her movements were precious and her line readings on the level of a, you know, a high school musical's. The rest of the cast, however, was excellent -- everyone seemed to be having ball and I couldn't help but have one with them.

Earlier this year, during American Idol, they panned the crowd and stopped on a kid who the screen told me was "Zac Efron, High School Musical." I had zero idea of why anyone would care. I get it now.

B+

Tom Jones (1963)

Robert Osborne, TCM host, introduced this film as being a "hoot" and said that the screen was filled with "hellzapoppin" visuals. Robert Osborne is losing his mind.

Basically, Tom Jones is a maid's illegitimate son, who's taken in by the master of the house and raised as a gentleman. But Tom just can't get enough of the ladies and that gets him into trouble. Once he's booted from his adoptive home resulting in the loss of the virginal true object of his affection and his inheritance, he sets off to find his own way in the world. This, for Tom, means finding ever more willing women to bed.

Wow -- that last paragraph makes the movie sound a lot more entertaining than it is. I'm not sure how, with such a winning star (Albert Finney) and lively base story, the film went so wrong. But, I'm here to tell you that it did. It's boring as all get-out. I can't believe this was named the top picture of 1963 over Cleopatra and Lilies of the Field, two far superior movies.

C-

The Sixth Sense (1999)

Yes! A double-feature of 1999 films I score "A+"!

This is my fourth or fifth viewing of this one -- and it's worth it every time. The first time I saw it, I was at the theater with one of my friends. We knew nothing about it going in. Halfway through (during the "peeing in the middle of the night" scene) I leaned over to her, trembling, and said "I hate this movie!" It was the first film in a long time to frighten me so badly. Horror movies don't scare me too much as they're usually so fantastic or set in such impossible circumstances. This, however, seemed so ordinary but with an inexplicable undercurrent of dread. Well, inexplicable for the first half or so.

I was worried that this could be a movie like "Jagged Edge" -- you know, one of those "once you know the ending, you can't truly enjoy it again" stories. Not so. The acting is so pure, the story so terrific, that I can't imagine I'll ever tire of it. The only really bad thing about it is that it's a reminder of how incredible Shyamalan was when he was new to Hollywood. I hope he gets his mojo back soon.

A+

Fight Club (1999)

I've seen it several times before -- but, every once in a while, I've just got to watch it again.

This movie just pops in a way that very few do. It's inventive and just shocks me with originality every single time I watch it. Makes most movies look like they're sleepwalking in comparison.

A+

Monster House (2006)

Monster House is about, well, a house that's a monster. Yep.

The neighborhood kids know to steer clear of the house because the mean old man -- Mr. Nebbercracker -- who lives there claims everything that lands on his property as his own and screams at every child who dares to place a toe on the lawn. JD, the boy across the street, notices that things only get weirder when Nebbercracker is rushed away to the hospital.

The three main characters (JD, his buddy Chowder, and a cute cookie seller who happens by) make this movie. They have a natural ease and made me laugh out loud a few times. But the house itself goes from scary to predictable to kinda disturbing. I was rather at a loss as to how to feel about Nebbercracker's secret -- despite being moved to tears by his story. Still, I don't know if the payoff will be just too much for younger children (under 10, say).

B+

Rashomon (1952)

When sheltering from a torrential downpour, a commoner becomes audience to a woodcutter and a priest who share the strange story of a recent death and inquiry in the village.

We see the event from the perspective (honest or deliberately twisted?) of each of the three people involved and the one "witness." Each story is an ugly one -- but none are identical.

Despite the fact that I rank two of Akira Kurosawa's later films: The Seven Samurai and Yojimbo above this one, it's a groundbreaking, must-see.

B

Murder at the Gallop (1963)

Miss Marple, amateur sleuth/professional busybody, thinks there's something fishy about the death of an acquaintance and sets about trying to figure out what it is -- dragging along her faithful sidekick Stringer.

Margaret Rutherford sparkles in the title role. The way she holds her face in an exaggerated "oh, aren't I clever" expression while waiting for those around her to catch up is comical without being over-the-top. The supporting cast of suspects are a load of fun, as is the inspector on the case he's not even sure is a case.

Lightweight fun.

B

Clean (2006)

Maggie Cheung plays Emily, the junkie wife of a once-brilliant rock star working on a comeback. Most of the people in their professional life consider Emily to be the "problem" -- the "what went wrong" in her husband's career. So, when he dies of an overdose and she gets thrown in jail for possession, no one's surprised and there's no one waiting for her on the other side.

Despite apparently showing little interest in her son, being raised by her late husband's parents in Canada (one of whom is Nick Nolte, doing a nice job as grandpa), he becomes the reason for her to attempt to pull herself together. The bulk of the film focuses on her attempts to get her life on track in the hopes that she can prove herself worthy of having a place in her son's life.

It's an interesting choice to make Emily, for the most part, annoying. Any goodwill shown her is generally given out of respect for her husband or her family or for a former co-worker. She's coasting on coattails. It's a fearless performance, but I was pretty glad when the movie ended, so I could finally be done spending time with her.

B-

Stay (2005)

I couldn't figure out what was going on through most of this movie and was obviously being prevented from doing so -- something that usually drives me NUTS. Rather than frustrating me, however, the movie became like an intricate puzzle: this piece snicks here, that one there -- and then the inevitable "wait, that can't be right" feeling right around the bend.

There's that old example of the confusing and ugly piece of needlepoint, with knots and threads going every which way, that needs only to be flipped over to the right side. Once you're looking at it from the proper perspective, it becomes beautiful and cohesive. This movie is exactly like that. To explain how would be to ruin it.

B+

The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)

This is one wacky revenge flick.

Dr. Phibes (Vincent Price), horribly disfigured in a car accident and thought dead, decides to dispatch with the nine medical personnel "responsible" for his wife's death on the operating table four years ago. Because he knows his Bible, he's decided to kill 'em plague style. Locusts, first-born son dead, rats -- they're all here.

When he's not actively carrying out his revenge, he spends time playing his ornate organ, accompanied by his life-size clockwork band. It feels like a fever dream and is supposed to be (I think, anyway) darkly comic. It didn't make me laugh, cringe, or tremble -- just sleepy.

D

White Skin (2006)

I knew absolutely nothing about the movie, but TiVo recommended it off of Starz and who am I to quibble with an electronic brain?

I was caught off guard here. Although this movie has some racism, some sex, and some gore -- all elements are handled in such a natural way that it doesn't feel in the least bit exploitative. It was, in turns, a story about friendship; that first, crazy love that makes you lose track of time and everything else; the threat of loss; and true fear.

Had I been told in advance what was simmering below the surface, I might not have bothered watching. I've become jaded -- e.g.: I know that most action movies are mindless, horror movies are gratuitously bloody, etc. This one feels bigger than any one genre and doesn't ever go for the stereotype.

What a happy surprise. I love my TiVo.

A-

Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story (2006)

Ridiculously clever film about making a ridiculously difficult film.

There are some brilliant observations on actor pettiness, on-the-fly rewrites, and desperate attempts to get more budget. Coogan is certainly game -- playing himself as an insecure (and rather unlikable) prima donna. At one point, in efforts to beef up the scope of the picture, he pushes through the idea of adding in a romantic storyline from the book. Because he's unfamiliar with the source material and unwilling to admit it, he doesn't realize that the romance involves his supporting actor -- not him. The scene in which he realizes what he's done is brilliant because we WANT him to be taken down a couple of pegs -- even as we feel for him. It's all very Ricky Gervais in "The Office."

But cleverness is not depth. And while it's fun for a while, it eventually becomes tiresome -- far before the credits roll.

B-

Hiroshima Mon Amour (1960)

The film opens with documentary-like footage of the aftermath of the Hiroshima bombings with a woman providing voice over of how she felt about her Hiroshima experiences. She's gently told that she has no personal experience of Hiroshima. When the speakers finally appear on-screen, we see that they are a French woman and a Japanese man and soon learn that they're at the end of what they supposed would be a one-night tryst. The story gets deeper and more meaningful as the minutes go by -- but it's so stylized that it's difficult to connect with the players.

I feel like I got it -- the woman has memories and shame she can't bear to remember and prefers an attempt at replacing them with false Hiroshima memories. The man feels guilt for escaping the bombings while his family suffered them. They provide a confessional relationship for each other, but the wounds are too deep for them to be salved over the course of a couple of days. But getting it isn't enough. I didn't feel what they felt. Their individual isolation was impenetrable. Which, come to think of it, is probably the point.

B-

Date Movie (2006)

None of the bits work -- not even on a "it's so ridiculously bad that I can't help but laugh" level.

Shockingly bad.

F- (yeah, I put a minus after that F. So?)

Flightplan (2005)

Great cast (mmm...Sarsgaard), good-looking movie, tense script.

I love a good thriller. This one delivers, thanks mostly to Jodie Foster in the lead. She's simply amazing.

B+

A Foreign Affair (1948)

Jean Arthur is a sourpuss congresswoman who's part of a government mission to check up on the American boys occupying post World War II Germany. What she discovers is that the armed forces spend their off-duty hours basically trading candy and knick-knacks for sexual favors from the local girls. What was being played for laughs was actually really sordid, from my point of view. These people who'd had their lives torn apart were being preyed upon by opportunistic louts -- it was disgusting.

Anyway. Dietrich's a femme fatale with her hooks in an army captain who pretends to woo Arthur in order to throw her off of his scent. His pretense turns real and it's supposed to be comic gold. Unfortunately, I couldn't get past the depressing setting.

C-

The Matador (2005)

Pierce Brosnan and Greg Kinnear play two men (Julian and Danny) in the middle of career crises. Julian's a hitman crashing emotionally and having trouble performing his job because of it. Danny is a regular guy working on getting his struggling company some much needed clients.

The two men meet by chance in Mexico City and Julian is so desperate for some real human interaction that he glues himself to Danny. He's in turns creepy and charming, scary and invigorating. Danny is obviously nervous around him, yet can't help being fascinated -- and, in that, he reflected my feelings exactly.

It was a load of fun and actually pulled off some touching moments -- something I wasn't expecting, but felt exactly right. Gary and I both liked this one a lot.

A-

Bite the Bullet (1975)

Grab-bag of character types enter a 700-mile horse race for a grand prize of $2000 in the early 20th century.

I think there's an interesting story buried in here, but too much of it just feels like monotonous padding. I was bored at the halfway point and exhausted at its end. It's neither fun nor exciting enough.

C

The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada (2005)

I really, really don't like this movie.

Barry Pepper's a selfish bastard of a jerk border patrolman with a pretty wife. He enjoys smacking border jumpers around before kickin' 'em back to their side. When he feels horny, he lifts the skirt of his pretty little wife, while she's chopping zucchini in the kitchen, and takes care of the urge in about 40 seconds -- while the expression on her face only becomes more bored than it was before he walked in.

Tommy Lee Jones is easier to like, but I'm pretty sure he's playing a mentally disabled person. After Pepper accidentally kills his illegal alien buddy, he forces Pepper on a journey to bury him. Jones says little, but when he does, his words are ridiculous and ssssslllllloooooooow and, when they finally hit their "destination," he gets even nuttier -- something I didn't think would be possible.

The weirdest thing about this movie is that so many critics called it "beautiful" and the like. I guess if you show enough vistas, horses, and loneliness, you can convince audiences en masse that they're in the presence of poetic greatness. I'm of the mind that if it doesn't entertain me, there's no reason to pretend it does.

D+

Find Me Guilty (2006)

This movie reminded me that I didn't always hate Vin Diesel - the guy can actually act when he bothers to pick a script that demands it.

Here he plays Jackie DiNorscio, a wise guy who's one of about 20 defendants -- and he's the only one defending himself. At the beginning of the film, we're told that most of the courtroom dialogue is taken directly from court transcripts. I'm glad they told me that, otherwise I'd have been rolling my eyes at the ridiculous screenplay. In his opening statements, Jackie assures the jury that he's "a gagster, not a gangster" and proceeds to do everything he can to convince them of that statement's veracity.

Though almost all of the story takes place on the utilitarian courtroom set, my interest didn't wane. The politics of being part of a crime family, Jackie's refusal to to turn his back on a boss who clearly loathes him, and his equal refusal to rat on law enforcement who harrass him, make for a compelling story. Jackie's loyalty is clearly his strong suit and it struck a chord with me. It's kind of disturbing that I can nod my head in agreement that Jackie was just doing what must be done for the good of the family. But I guess The Sopranos have kind of softened me up.

My one complaint is that they made the prosecutor such an over-the-top villain. I was already on Jackie's side without hating the guy at the other table.

B+

Manic (2003)

The subjects of this film are a group of kids in a mental health facility - sentenced to therapy for various problems. Some are victimizers. All are victims. Lyle (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is the new kid on the block and we watch him go from silent rage to being an active participant in his own healing.

This is a foreign world to me: I can't identify with the problems or the feelings on display here. The camera does its best to make the viewer part of the action rather than an outsider looking in, though. There are lots of in-your-face shots and dancing about -- which usually gets on my last nerve, but really worked to make me as agitated as the kids I was watching.

There's a bit of "Breakfast Club" in the feel here. It's a mixed group of kids, most of whom would never choose to hang out together: there's a goth girl with razor scars, a fearful and innocent boy, a pretty but nervous good girl, a bully in hip-hop garb, and a good-natured buddy for our violent hero. The kids should just be thanking their lucky stars that they've got empathetic Don Cheadle on their side rather than Principal Vernon. Basically, it's a dysfunctional family -- they hate each other and they need each other.

B-

The Notebook (2004)

I cry all the time. Any decent long distance commercial can do it, the "visits from home" episode of Survivor does it, and the scene where Santa Claus talks to the little Dutch girl in "Miracle on 34th Street" does it every year. So, why in the world couldn't I muster a single tear for a film that so obviously and desperately expected them?

Basically, this is the story of a couple falling in love...being torn apart because of differences in class...and finding each other again. That sounds pretty good. Now, here's the conceit: the male half of the couple is reading the story to the non-remembering female half of the couple in a nursing home. That sounds even better. So why doesn't it work?

My guess is that it isn't affecting because it isn't all that interesting. I didn't fall in love along with the characters and actually found their courtship pretty boring. Why did he love her? Because she's pretty? Why did she love him? Because he's poor?

The framing device of the nursing home scenes gives the story some weight -- but it feels undeserved. This romance is far too lightweight to have such a poignant denouement.

C+

Sons and Lovers (1960)

Unhappy lower-class family in a mining town loses a son in a mine collapse which makes mom more determined than ever to make sure that her remaining son, an artist, follows his dreams.

Sounds good in theory, but somehow Mom (Wendy Hiller -- doing a bang-up job) seems to need it more than her son does. Her neediness, combined with his father's disgust, conspire to turn him into a cold and emotionally-crippled man who desires only similarly cold people in his life.

It's not very enjoyable to watch.

C-