Man of the West (1958)

Gary Cooper's a reformed outlaw trusted with hiring a school teacher for his town. But when the train he's on gets held up, he finds himself left behind with a saloon singer and small-time opportunist in tow. Since the closest place he can think of to get help happens to be a hideout for his old gang, he heads there.

It's a tense little western -- a bit more seamy than usual and more believable for it.

B

Paris je t'aime (2007)

Eighteen vignettes by eighteen different directors, all set in Paris.

I'd say about a quarter of them were terrific, a quarter of them were horrible, and half of them weren't enough of either to move me (yes, I know that 1/4 of 18 is 4.5 -- I'm rounding). The hands-down standout was Catalina Sandino Moreno's segment (young mother working as a nanny) -- watched it three times.

B-

Hairspray (2007)

A lot of fun, though I never forgot for a second that it was John Travolta in that fat suit and his simple-girl accent was more annoying than charming. I have no idea where she was supposed to be from -- nearly irritated me enough to wreck the entire movie.

Actually, it would have taken a lot to mess up this one. It was bouncy and funny -- the entire family had a great time with it.

B+

Ready to Wear (1994)

It's an "everyone's a winner!" situation when trying to figure out which of the performances was the worst, but I think the prize would have to go to Kim Basinger: she was the most unconvincing out of at least a dozen ill-conceived efforts.

Truth be told, I feel a little mean pointing out poor acting when the material itself was completely stupid. As a whole, it was a boring, wandering, absolute MESS. This would be the "leave off my résumé" project if I were in any way involved.

I'm also pretty sure that there was a "no second takes" policy on the set. Every single scene seemed like a trial run of ad-libbing -- I really don't think any bit worked. And whose stupid idea was the running-gag of stepping in dog shit? It didn't make any sense at all.

In case it's not clear: I hated this movie.

F

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)

It's Thanksgiving night -- what better way to kick off the Christmas season than turkey sandwiches, eggnog, and the Griswold clan?

A-

Carnival of Souls (1962)

I was "watching" this with one eye constantly on the Christmas garland I was stringing -- but I was still able to pay enough attention to absorb the extremely creepy vibe. I'm not sure it made a whole lot of sense, and I understood what was supposed to be happening way before the main character did, but the pacing was good and the atmosphere just terrific.

Cool film with most of the cast delivering comically stiff performances.

B

Air Guitar Nation (2007)

We had no idea what we were getting into here and it took us a while to catch the spirit of what was going on -- but once we were on board, it was crazily entertaining. We became judges the way you do watching any competition show: we didn't know anything, but we still had criticisms and praise for the participants.

One complaint: it would've been nice if the competition heats were explained to us in advance. I had no idea how the brackets worked or, indeed, if there even WERE brackets.

B+

The Hoax (2007)

An audacious based-on-fact story: rejected author pretends to be writing Howard Hughes' biography with his blessing and help, banking on the fact that the recluse won't deem it important enough to protest.

The idea is interesting and the movie bounces along on its strength and the charm of Richard Gere for the first half -- but it just doesn't quite last. By the time the movie started pushing a "maybe he's crazy" possibility, I just didn't care any more.

C+

The Da Vinci Code (2006)

Sucks so much ass. I hated the book, but this manages to be even worse. All of the "mysteries" are Nancy Drew-level and the lectures are insufferable and unbelievable given the supposed circumstances.

Bleh.

D

A Mighty Heart (2007)

Oh my word. This movie has been praised so much that I almost felt as though I must be watching the wrong cut of the thing. I found it incredibly boring, rather confusing, and tremendously anti-climactic. I was also less-than-impressed with Angelina Jolie's performance -- it was one of those "I can see your acting going on" deals.

And this is kinda stupid, but it really bothered me. Mariane (Jolie) always had her hair pinned up. I know it was a wig -- but couldn't they have made a second "loose" one for sleeping and bathing? No one NEVER takes their hair down. It was just one more thing about the movie that felt false.

C-

Crazy Love (2007)

Simply fascinating stuff.

Young woman in the '50s is drawn into an affair with a married Hollywood lawyer -- she falls in love, while he falls into obsession. When she finally gets wise and moves on, he sends someone after her and...well...wow.

Definitely THE most dysfunctional relationship story I've heard: sounds like fiction if it weren't for the testimonials from the principals and newspaper clippings. If this were a drama, I'd say "too over-the-top -- needed heavy editing." Since it's a documentary, I'm just slack jawed.

A-

My Sister Eileen (1942)

Eileen's a looker and that, apparently, makes it understandable and acceptable for a constant stream of men to attempt sexual assault. The way it's played is that "it's sure annoying to be pawed over...but nothing to get too upset about!"

Constantly quippy, but not terribly funny. Their go-to gag is squeezing chaos into a small space. Gets old quick.

C

Iceman (1984)

Scientists find a 40,000 man frozen in a block of ice -- somehow still living. In order to find out about his life and habits, they construct an elaborate Truman Showesque set and watch him from behind the scenes. Of course, that doesn't quite work and he ends up figuring that something's up...and then it gets boring.

This movie struggles so hard to be meaningful and important that I feel kind of bad for my dismissive attitude. But, hey: I don't think it's very interesting. What's a movie-watcher to do?

C

The Dionne Quintuplets (1978)

Documentary about the five identical girls born in 1934 -- the first recorded as surviving their infancy.

It's hard to even figure out how to feel about the way their lives were handled. They were exploited as a product: spokespeople thrust into the public eye with no regard for normalcy. It's also impossible to know for sure whether their parents would be more rightly considered fellow exploiters or victims themselves.

Compelling watchable, like most freak shows are, even if you feel guilty for being fascinated.

B

Dan in Real Life (2007)

I rather liked this when I saw it, but the further I get from it, the more critical I am.

The main problem, I think , is that I didn't really get what was so magical about the early encounter -- yes, I got that it impacted both Dan (Steve Carell) and Marie (Juliette Binoche), but it's a movie's job to make ME feel what they're feeling, not just assure me that they certainly do feel it, alright. I also really hated all three of his daughters: the eldest acted like she was thirty, the middle one was histrionic (though I have to give it to her -- she was certainly believable), and the youngest said such non-young things it was pretty ridiculous.

I think what was really so heartwarming about the film was the family at its core: a family that enjoys each other and is comfortable rather than formal -- the kind of family I'm hoping will laze around my house when I'm a grandmother.

B

Fracture (2007)

Pretty smart, but it felt a little smaller than I expected. There was also a coldness to the Anthony Hopkins character that translated to a coldness in the storytelling -- kept everything behind glass rather than in any way meaningful.

Would've made a great episode of "Mystery" on PBS.

B-

Home of the Brave (2006)

The first 20 minutes or so are set with US forces in Iraq as they go on a routine delivery mission. Of course, that goes bad and people are shot/wounded/traumatized. The rest of the movie is dedicated to what happens when these people come home.

I certainly don't make light of the constant stress under which our troops operate every day -- but they deserve more than this "we're home and depressed" treatment. It's sloppily handled sentimental garbage. The acting was weak, the score amateurish, and it just altogether sucked.

D